There’s a New ‘Harry Potter’ Actor and He’s a Total DILF

As you might have heard, a new Harry Potter play is coming out that focuses on Harry as a grown-up with kids of his own — and the guy playing Harry is a certified DILF.

The play, “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child,” will pick up where the kind-of-awful epilogue to the final HP book left off. It’s about 20 years in the future, Harry and Ginny Weasley are married, and they’ve given their two kids clunky names like Albus Severus Potter.

But anyway, to the important beefcake business: grown-up Harry Potter is being played by a guy named Jamie Parker, and he’s totally stealing the spotlight from the rest of his zzzzzzz family.

I mean, look at that tousled black hair and those sexy British specs. You can just tell he’s the kind of guy who’s a Hufflepuff in the streets and a Gryffindor in the sheets.

It makes sense that the adult Harry would be a total sex bomb, since Daniel Radcliffe was responsible for the sexual awakening of an entire generation of little girls since the minute he got cast in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” But adult Harry really manages to take things a step further.

In real life, the actor Jamie Parker is a Shakespearean actor who’s actually blonde/slightly gingery and not quite as smoldering.

But sometimes it takes a fake lightning bolt scar and a black wig to really find yourself, you dig?

Even J.K. Rowling is impressed. She had this to say about Jamie Parker in the pages of Entertainment Weekly:

“He simply is Harry now. There’s a kind of relief in watching him, he gets it so right.”

OMFG that’s what she said. Sidenote: we’ve never heard remarks like that about Daniel Radcliffe. Ouch, Joanne. Ouch.


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