The Case for Less Sex After Childbirth: What This Doula Wants You To Know
Angel Phoenix believes in having less sex—yes, less. The internationally acclaimed doula is on a mission to normalize having less sex in the year after childbirth. While most doctors recommend waiting four to six weeks before resuming sexual activity, Phoenix highlights the profound challenges that extend far beyond this period—challenges that many new mothers face but often remain unaddressed.
“Part of this is biological design,” says Phoenix, a leading voice and activist in the birth space. “After giving birth, your body prioritizes healing itself and providing sustenance for the new baby. Your body is designed to reject anything that detracts from that because healing is the number one priority.”
Phoenix, who is also a sex worker, has spent the last decade demystifying the modern woman’s experience of sex, birth, and motherhood. She has worked with hundreds of women and birthing people throughout the gestation and postpartum process and trained thousands of doulas. Her unique expertise is centered around guiding women through the evolution of their sexual expression and identity in the postnatal period.
A study published in the International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology found that 83% of women report a lack of interest in sex two to three months postpartum, with 38% still feeling this way at six months, according to the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The pressure to resume sex can strain relationships and cause physical and mental distress.
Another challenge some women face when trying to resume intimacy in the year after birth is a lack of support from their partners. “When our partners don’t step up to the plate and leave us feeling unsupported,” Phoenix explains, “we can feel invisible or forced into a mothering role. This dynamic often leads to a lack of attraction because, instead of being providers and carers, partners can regress to childlike behavior, making us unattracted to them.”
Phoenix’s unique insights into motherhood and sexuality have led to her being tapped as the newest contributor to Pornhub’s Sexual Wellness Center (SWC), a safe-for-work online resource offering information on sexual health and relationships through leading doctors, therapists, and other expert contributors. She plans to support the center’s goal of demystifying sexuality by expanding the standard discussions around motherhood. Phoenix will address topics like sexual dysfunction after abortion and postpartum identity shifts, aiming to empower women and improve maternal health.
“My content will help readers walk the tightrope between personal power and parenthood,” says Phoenix.
Phoenix’s content will also support those navigating conception, miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, surrogacy, adoption, caregiving, and all types of birth, serving as a crucial reminder of the need for self-compassion and patience throughout the transition to motherhood.
