POP QUIZ: What Kind of F*ckboy Is He?
Take this quiz to diagnose the lying, cheating, wannabe Bieber in your life. Maybe it’ll make you understand him better, or maybe it’ll give you the strength you need to finally cut the cord and block his number. Whichever.
What’s the drink he sends you from across the room?
What’s a line he’d use to get a girl into bed?
A. “My last girl cheated on me, I’m just looking for true love.”
B. “I hope you’re as good as I think you’ll be…”
C. “I swear to god, my heart stopped when I saw you. You’re so fucking beautiful.”
D. “You can come over but you can’t stay the night.”
What’s band he’d play to set the mood?
A. The Smiths/The National
B. Drake/The Weeknd/PartyNextDoor
C. Beyoncé/Enrique Iglesias
D. Led Zeppelin/ACDC
What’s text he’d send you the morning after when you say “Let’s do that again soon ;)”?
A. “That’s the first time since my last girlfriend that I felt a true connection. At least you’re not a cheating bitch like her…”
B. “Hey, yeah I had fun too but for some reason I thought you’d be better :/ Maybe we should try again? ;)”
C. “Our children would be soo beautiful…too bad I don’t like kids.”
D. “Didn’t save this number. Who is this?”
How long does your fling last?
A. Three awkward weeks.
B. A year on and off with a sidekick.
C. Five intense and romantic dates and 10-15 fucks.
D. Six to eight hours.
If you answered mostly A’s…
He is heartbroken, conflicted, angry, but still very much in love with the lost object of his affections. What makes him a fuckboy is the fact that he uses his heartbreak to trap a “pity fuck.” He uses his own pain to get what he wants and then uses it as an excuse not to commit. The hands pulling at his face are an outer example of his inner conflict.
If you answered mostly B’s…
He thinks and feels a lot but rarely takes action, content to play out his romantic and sexual fantasies in his head. He waits and waits for something to happen and when it does, it’s almost never as good as he could have dreamed up himself. He’s the king of expectations. He wears an aluminum crown that represents his childish way of thinking.
If you answered mostly C’s…
The Don Juan
The romancer, the sweet-talker. He wants the simulation of romantic and time-invested love without investing either heart or any true amount of time, probably because he’s been hurt in the past. He holds himself high – chest out, chin high, a know-it-all glint in his eye and a swagger to his smirk. He woes with roses, yet a few weeks later after the first throes of passion die, you won’t find so much as a trace of him.
If you answered mostly D’s…
He will fight for what he wants. Not so much because he actually wants it but because the act of fighting for something (or someone) and then getting it, is his ultimate high. He’s the ultimate chaser. He’s cocky and knowingly says the wrong thing and the wrong times, instigating conflict so he can show his bravado and capture the attention of his next conquest. Although he looks like he’s got it all together, he’s missing the inner confidence that brings the calm of not having to prove one’s self 24/7.