5 Tips For Staying Safe on Your First Online Date
I don’t wanna make it weird and sound like your dad here, but I do wanna make a point that as women in this day and age, dating safety is of the utmost importance. And unfortunately, if you are a single lady, you’ve probably been forced to dabble in the often terrifying terrain of dating sites and apps.
As if attempting to learn how to properly decipher “dude-speak” wasn’t already hard enough, we’ve all had to make an attempt to look for the clues that decipher a creepy creeper from a normal dude. You or one of your friends, have maybe even had a close call with a dude who seemed off his rocker, or simple after a quick hookup.
Sadly, I’ve even joked with my mother while on my way to a date explaining what I’m wearing and reminding her of any birth marks or tattoos I have, in case she needs to identify the body (sad, but true, but this is the world we live in). Since I’ve been on a date or two (or fifty?) in my life, here are some tips to keep you safe (and alive?) in the crazy game of the manhunt:
1. Have a Timeline
I know it can be super exciting to find a guy on a dating site that seems like he just might be normal (‘cause let’s face it, it’s semi-rare and deserves to be celebrated), and you may wanna jump right in and meet up ASAP. But here’s a tip, have a timeline. If your prospect seems like he might be worth it, talk to him through the app (or dating site) for at least a week before giving him your cell phone number. Make sure to leave out any super important details, like your address, or any other important personal information. If he sticks around for a while without pressuring you for a hook up, ask for a phone call. (Yes, an actual phone call. Like, speaking and everything) If he passes the test after two weeks and doesn’t seem creepy, offer to meet him in person.
2. Meet at a Public Place
I know you’ve heard this one before, but it’s important. Under no circumstances invite him over to watch a movie on the first date, and under no circumstances should “Netflix and Chill” be mentioned – even if you might be joking, your dude may not (and probably isn’t!)
3. Have an Out
Plan to have someone call your phone about thirty minutes into your date. Before you head out to your meeting place, tell your caller the name of the place you are meeting the guy, and also his name. This can be anyone: your best friend, your sister, or even your mom. When they call, you can either a) excuse yourself from the table and explain that the guy seems normal enough for you to stick around, or b) If the guy seems like a creeper after just thirty minutes (we’ve all been there), return to the table while still on the phone, and claim that your sister/best friend/mother is having an emergency and that you’ll have to reschedule your date. Apologize politely, grab your purse, and leave!
4. Wear Red Lipstick
I know this one sounds a little weird but unless you really want a kiss from this dude, red lips are a sure fire way to keep him from pouncing on you right away. Dudes know that if they go in for a kiss with your fire-y red pout, they’ll have a red smeary joker face to walk around with the rest of the night (as will you). You could also wear glitter. Guys hate that shit, and they’ll stay far away from it. At the end of the night if/when you decide to let him kiss you, dab your lips before you leave (or swap out for some clear lip balm on a quick trip to the ladies room) and go for it. Also, here’s another tip – make sure to keep one hand on his chest between the two of you when you first kiss him, so you can push him away in case he gets too hands-y or aggressive. Your hand will keep YOU in control, and let him know if you want more, or less!
5. Do Not Get Sloshed
Try to take it easy on the wine. I like to kick a few back (er, a whole bottle), but you’ll need to pace yourself so you can stay aware. Alternate between your alcoholic beverage of choice with a glass of water, and don’t drink anymore than two glasses depending on what your fabulous body can handle. Lastly, if you need to head to the ladies room, try not to leave your drink unattended as much as possible. I try to go in between drink refills, so as to give your dude the least amount of chances to roofie your drink.
I don’t want to generalize and imply that every guy is out for one thing, or planning some sort of murderous demise for us – however, it seems that guys have just as hard of a time trying to decipher “Girl-speak” too, and can often get mixed up or misunderstand body language (especially if the interwebs are involved.) Don’t let your safety turn you into a paranoid little sheep, as you should still plan to have a good time and let your dude see your real personality.
Feature image via Tumblr