How to Finesse Your Way Into a House Party This Halloween

Let’s get real here: bar hopping on Halloween is the worst (though arguably club hopping is actually much more traumatic but I digress).

The drinks are expensive, the fuckboys are out in their blood-stained football jerseys, and you can’t move your arm without accidentally (purposely?) spilling some dude’s $8 Coors.

So what is a sexy catwoman to do? Party in the comfort of a cute, private, preferably spacious apartment of course. Easier said than done, obviously. But luckily we are here to tell you exactly how to make sure the only nightmares you experience this Halloween are those inflicted by too many episodes of American Horror Story.

Here’s who you can text to low-key invite yourself to their apartment.

1. Your BFF With The Cool Apartment

You know who I’m talking about. That girl who managed to hit the jackpot of one bedroom, Williamsburg spaciousness and won’t stop talking about it. “Friend” might even be a stretch of the word but for our purposes, she is your BFFL forever and ever and ever. Just tell her that you will take care of the guest list as long as she provides the space and let your Halloween night begin.

2. That Dude Who Keeps Thirst Following You On Snapchat

He always watches your stories and responds as if he is the reason why your OOTD pics are always on point. Well now he can finally get his wish: you over at his place this weekend. Of course it won’t just be you. You and a crowd of your favorite people is more like it. Trust me though, he won’t question until it’s 5 a.m. on All Saints Day and you are safely in the comfort of your bed.

3. A Friend of A Friend of A Friend of A

You don’t have to be best friends with someone to turn up for their costume party. In fact, you don’t even have to have ever met them. Your party hook up doesn’t have to have ever met them either. As long as you have a name (“Oh, I’m friends with Karen. Oh you don’t know Karen? She always has the best things to say about you!”), you’ve got an in. Just make sure you don’t break their antique china pottery while you’re there (though if they leave the pottery out, then arguably it’s their fault anyway.)

4. That Desperate Promoter Dude With The Sick Penthouse

He’s always mass texting you trying to get you to head out to Lavo every Thursday night (hasn’t he heard that Lavo is so 2014?) now is his chance to get you to come out for one of his events. PSA: Probably best not to get too wasted if you do this. No one is more sketchy than a New York City club promoter…

5. Get Your Crew Together And Head to That House Party You Happened To Hear About In Passing

As long as you’ve got your girls around you and a level head on your shoulders, why not have a little Halloween night adventure? (Please refer to the final lines of points 3 & 4 before you do this…)

6. Throw Your Own!

Got an apartment? Got some cute girlfriends? Got some hard alcohol? Then what are you worrying about? Time to mass text like every desperate club promoter you know and throw the legendary Halloween party you have always dreamt about!

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