The 6 annoying people you’ll meet at any party

The older we get, the more we like pretending our party days are behind us.

But let’s be honest… they’re not. But what my newfound maturity does mean is this: I have a lot less patience for the annoying people at a party.

No matter the function, no doubt you can be sure that a few stereotypical party-goers will be there and will most likely make you regret not going to the movies instead.

1. Oh, So Avant Garde

I’ve become victim to meeting one too many 20 somethings climbing the social art ladder. Is it really necessary to wear a full blown tux at a house party whilst trying to convert people into becoming a Jeff Koons collector? Not only do I not have the $$ to fund an art collection, hence why I am drinking out of paper cups instead of crystal. But I also don’t want to spend my night talking about minimalism, symbolism or realism.

2. THE Couple

There is nothing more hypocritical than a couple boasting about their ability to socialize together when all they do is sit in the corner and make out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you and all. But I don’t want to feel like I am watching the pre-beat to a homemade video. If you insist you’re a couple that parties together, then you should be a couple that doesn’t have to stay linked by the hip for the next couple hours.

3. Bathroom Girls

I’m all for sharing a new Kylie Lip Kit with a rando babe in the bathroom, BUT there too many life plans made in the girls’ bathrooms. Waking up on a Sunday with a new number or two means one thing: You probably stood in the bathroom for half the party with a girl you never met and made plans to take up pole dancing classes, get matching tattoos that show your love for Harry Potter or even travel to Asia together. FYI it’s most likely not going to happen.

4. For the Followers

There is a fine line between taking a few Snapchats/photos and spending your entire night glued to your phone. I mean really? Is the party that lame? Or are you just trying to prove to everyone how GR8 your life is. Unless your Snapchats are more entertaining than your friend attempting to funnel beer, then you don’t need to video 300 seconds of the night. Especially of you lip-synching, or even worse singing, the new Chainsmokers album.

5. The Degenerate

Please don’t be that person who can’t hold their drink. We all LOVE getting a bit tipsy and dabbing a few too many times. There’s no need to overdo it and forever be known as the girl who ruined my vintage bomber jacket by chundering all over it. So please stop before you flirt with someone’s boyfriend, force people to play never have I ever, or need to be carried home.

6. Background Check

He/she who talks absolute bull shit. We all exaggerate a bit here and there when we’re drunk and meeting new people. But if your entire night entails making new friends by telling them you have a private jet or your daddy owns Universal Studios, you need to rein it in. Everyone has insecurities but there is no need to pretend you’re a 25-year-old mogul millionaire. It is also hugely embarrassing if you get caught out, which you will. Google knows everything, duh. And FYI no one cares about how much you have in your bank account!!!!

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