11 things to buy from Nordstrom’s massive summer sale

We’re right in the middle of those lazy, hazy days of summer, which means you’re probably at that point where you’ve decided you hate everything you own.

Luckily for you, Nordstrom just started its Anniversary Sale. And just in case you have another week to wait until pay day, don’t worry because the sale is going on until August 6th.

Rather than comb through the sales yourself, we took the liberty of cherry-picking the best deals you’re gonna find whether you need a new bag or a shady gift to give to that girl you hate.

Happy shopping!

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1. This excellent Proenza Schouler knockoff sweater


OK so yes it’s not very summer and yes it looks like something a modesty blogger would happily wear, but if I passed you in the streets, I wouldn’t point and laugh at you, I’d point and say, “OMG, look at that girl’s Proenza Schouler sweater. I love it. She’s so fashun.”

Wear it to your next job interview. Wear it to meet your bf’s rich old money parents. Wear it to a fancy restaurant and have everybody think you’re rolling in dough.

Buy it here.

2. A pineapple drink holder pool float


Even if you’re not 21 yet, as long as you have access to a pool, you should buy this cute little guy and make him spend all day holding your drink. I mean just look at how cute he is! He was BORN to be your bitch. You’re honestly doing him a favor.

And think of how cute the two of you will look in photos together!

Or if you don’t have a pool, buy it as a cheap gift for your friend who does have a pool instead of spending more money on something thoughtful she’ll end up returning anyway.

Buy it here.

3. Stripper nail polish remover


Do you really need this much nail polish remover? Probably not. But c’mon, it’s called “The Stripper.” That’s hilariously good branding that it deserves to be rewarded.

Plus it’ll probably last you a good year and a half. Maybe two.

Every time you use it, you’ll see its label and LOL your yoga pants off. And when you think about it, can you really put a price on an everlasting LOL?

Buy it here.

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4. A velvet mini backpack


I’ve had a velvet mini backpack for the last two years and let me tell you, it was worth it!

Sure, you can’t fit a lot of stuff in them, but that’s kind of the point.

We walk around all frickin day long carrying so much weight around. It hurts our necks, our backs, and maybe some other things it doesn’t seem appropriate to mention right now.

And if we’re really being honest with ourselves, most of the stuff we carry around all day aren’t things we really need. Yes, it seems like a great idea to bring our laptop out with us to the coffee shop in the off chance we get a burst of inspiration to finally write a chapter in the novel we promised our teenage selves we’d have published by the time we were 30, but let’s be real, that’s not what’s gonna happen.

You’ll just end up reading stuff you saw on Facebook and putzing around for an hour. And you can do that on your phone.

Plus, mini backpacks, unlike regular backpacks, actually look cute, which means if you show up to a party wearing one, you won’t look like a total scrub.

Buy it here.

5-6. Passive aggressive hand towels


If you’re aggro and you know it clap your hands!

Living with roommates can be tough, especially when you’re kind of a neat freak and they’re walking dumpster fires.

So instead of committing the ultimate party foul and writing a note or calling a “family meeting,” just buy these towels which do all the work for you.

And make sure to take a picture to send to your friends on the group text so they can all compliment your act of savagery.

Buy the wash towel here. Buy the dry towel here.

7. A self-deprecating travel mug


Most items that have slogans on them are so corny you can practically taste the kernels in your mouth, but this is just hilarious.

Buy it for yourself so you can get sympathy looks on the train or buy it for your friend who really tries their best but…

Buy it here.

8. This work bag that will go with everything you own


Buying a work bag is tough and so little fun that you’ve probably put off doing it for months now.

I get it. I was the same. And then I found this oxblood bag on the steps outside of my apartment.

Well, not this exact bag, but something very close to it.

I’ve used it every day since I picked it off the street and I’ve been pleasantly surprised to see that it looks great with everything I own.

Yes, it’s a boring thing to spend your money on, but it’s not a good look to show up to an interview with a backpack. Do it for you future, bb.

Buy it here

8. A lifetime supply of prominently-branded hydrating mist!


Nobody’s really sure what the point of hydrating mist is supposed to be, but right now the beauty industry is really trying to make them happen.

But the good news is, since you don’t really need them, this 6-pack of Evian mineral water spray will last you for the rest of your life!!!!!!

Plus it’d just be a really funny thing to have.

Buy it here.

9. Cute new leopard-print mules


As I’ve explained to my live-in boyfriend numerous times, a girl, I’m sorry, woman, can never have too many shoes.

You could wear them to get laid, you could wear them to get paid, you could wear them to make lemonade!

How fun. And useful.

Buy them here.

10. A shady ass gift to get for that girl you hate but have to pretend to be friends with for some BS social reason


We all have that special somebody in our lives that we just can’t stand but have to pretend to be friends with.

And she’s probably getting married, engaged, or throwing a blowout to celebrate how she just got 100k followers on Instagram.

So instead of sulking in the corner all night, take control of your fate and shade the hell out of her in front of all of her friends!

Waltz right up to her and tell her that you know gifts aren’t necessary, but you saw this online and thought of her.

As soon as she unwraps it and sees you bought her a “beauty-boosting pillowcase” to give her younger-looking skin, she’ll get the message.

Buy it here.

11. This precious lip balm set


You don’t need these lip balms, but just look at how frickin cute they are!

BRB my heart has melted and I need to clean it up before I ruin the carpet.

Buy them here.

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