CALL YOUR MOM. WE MADE YOU A FALL DATE QUIZ.
Perfume shopping, pumpkin patches, long walks, crafts, gossip and a reason to actually make the plan. Here are some things to do with your mom this fall — plus a quiz to figure out what kind of day you two need.
There comes a point in adulthood when hanging out with your mom becomes genuinely fun.
Not “she drove me to Target because I don’t have a car” fun.
Actual fun.
You start realizing she has opinions about perfumes. She knows things about people you absolutely were not supposed to know. She has stories from before you existed. She has a favorite coffee order. She might even have gossip.
Excellent.
And fall is basically designed for this.
The weather is finally tolerable. Everybody wants to leave the house again. The holidays haven’t completely hijacked the calendar yet. And there are approximately six million seasonal activities being advertised within a 30-mile radius of wherever you live.
So before October turns into Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving turns into “wait, Christmas is next week?”, make a plan with your mom.
Nothing dramatic.
You do not need matching sweaters.
Unless you want them.
Here are a few things actually worth doing together.
GO PERFUME SHOPPING
Image: Pinterest
This one is elite because you immediately learn far too much about each other.
Take her to Sephora, Ulta, a department store fragrance counter, wherever.
Smell everything.
Try to find a fragrance you both like.
Then realize you have completely opposite taste.
She picks something powdery and floral.
You pick something that smells like leather, expensive wood and somebody with man issues.
Great.
You tried.
The fun part is having each other pick what you think the other person should wear.
You may leave with nothing.
You may leave with two bottles.
You may discover your mom has worn the same fragrance since 1998 and has absolutely No Interest in your suggestions. (We love you Elizabeth Taylor).
Either way, you spent an hour together.
That was the point.
GO TO THE FALL FARM
sakinah on Instagram
Yes.
The pumpkin patch.
The apple orchard.
The farm with the cider donuts.
The place charging $14 for admission so you can stand next to a wheelbarrow and someone chasing a kid.
Go.
Fall attractions are objectively a little ridiculous, which is exactly why they’re fun.
Get the cider.
Buy the overpriced apple butter.
Take the photo.
Walk through the little market selling candles with names like “October Barn.”
Sometimes adulthood requires intentionally doing things that feel corny.
You might be surprised how much you enjoy yourself once you stop worrying about whether the activity is cool enough.
Your mother certainly does not care.
She is already looking at the mums.
MAKE SOMETHING TOGETHER
Image: Emily Greeley
What happened to crafts?
Seriously.
When did we decide crafting was exclusively for children and people with extremely organized Cricut rooms?
Get some magazines.
Make collages.
Paint pumpkins badly.
Make a fall wreath.
Decorate a picture frame.
Start a scrapbook.
Print actual photographs from your phone.
You have 19,000 pictures sitting in your camera roll and approximately four of them exist anywhere physically.
Fix that.
And please do not turn the craft into content.
It does not need to be beautiful.
Nobody needs a tutorial.
You are allowed to glue something crooked and continue living.
GO FOR A WALK (READ IT AGAIN!)
Free.
Easy.
And you’d be shocked by how much shit talking two people can accomplish in three miles.
A walk is also one of the easiest ways to actually talk to somebody because neither of you has to sit directly across from the other performing “conversation.”
You just move.
One topic becomes another.
Suddenly your mom is telling you something that happened at work in 2007.
Then you’re discussing your cousin.
Then housing prices.
Then somebody’s divorce.
Then somehow you’re both angry at a person neither of you has seen since 2019.
Look at that.
Cardio.
And bonding.
TAKE HER TO YOUR FAVORITE PLACE
This one matters as you get older.
Your parents spend years introducing you to their world.
Eventually, let them into yours.
Take your mom to the restaurant you love.
The coffee shop you always talk about.
The little vintage store.
The bookstore.
The park where you walk.
That random place with the really good fries.
It doesn’t need to be impressive.
The point is showing her something that belongs to your adult life.
There is something really sweet about saying:
“I come here all the time. I wanted you to see it.”
LET HER PICK SOMETHING
This may require courage.
Tell your mom to plan the afternoon.
No complaining.
Within reason.
Maybe she wants to go antiquing.
Maybe she wants to look at furniture.
Maybe you’re about to spend 90 minutes inside HomeGoods.
Godspeed.
But if you’re always the person deciding where to eat or what is “fun,” switch roles.
Ask her what she actually wants to do.
Not what she thinks everyone else will enjoy.
Moms are suspiciously good at making plans around everybody except themselves.
Sound familiar?
COOK SOMETHING YOU BOTH ACTUALLY LIKE
Image: Pinterest/Gilmore Girls
Not Thanksgiving dinner.
That comes with pressure.
Pick something smaller.
Soup.
Chili.
Cookies.
Pasta.
Some recipe your family used to make when you were younger.
Or try something neither of you knows how to cook and accept that dinner could become DoorDash.
Cooking together gives you something to do with your hands while you talk.
And if she has one of those recipes that exists only as:
“A little bit of this.”
“How much?”
“You’ll know.”
No, ma’am.
Write it down.
These recipes disappear because everybody assumes somebody else remembers them.
ASK HER ABOUT HER TWENTIES
This might be the best thing on the list.
Your mother existed before motherhood.
Wild.
Ask her.
What did she wear?
Who was her best friend?
What job did she hate?
Who broke her heart?
What did she think her life would look like?
What was her first apartment like?
What did she spend money on that she absolutely could not afford?
What music did she play when she went out?
You may discover that the person telling you to save money once bought an entire outfit instead of paying a bill.
Information!
And sometimes hearing your parents talk about being your age makes adulthood feel less like something you’re supposed to have mastered already.
They were figuring it out too.
TAKE PHOTOS OF HER
Image: Pinterest
Not just selfies.
Take actual photographs of your mom.
Walking.
Laughing.
Looking at something in a store.
Sitting across from you at lunch.
Parents are often the people taking all the family pictures, which means they somehow end up missing from half the memories.
Change that.
And send her the pictures afterward.
She will almost certainly say she hates them.
Save them anyway.
AND MAYBE CALL HER FOR NO REASON
Not because you need something.
Not because you’re asking where that insurance document is.
Not because you need the family recipe.
Just call.
This probably sounds painfully obvious, but adulthood gets busy in really boring ways.
Work.
Bills.
Laundry.
Relationships.
Commutes.
Appointments.
Suddenly three weeks have passed and your communication with somebody you love has mostly consisted of liking messages.
You don’t have to have a profound conversation.
Tell her something stupid that happened.
Ask what she’s watching.
Complain about somebody.
Let her complain about somebody.
Ten minutes counts.
THE REAL FALL ACTIVITY IS PAYING ATTENTION
The older you get, the faster seasons seem to move.
October becomes November.
November becomes the holidays.
Then everybody says:
We really need to get together.
And somehow January arrives first.
So make the reservation.
Take the walk.
Go smell perfumes.
Buy the ridiculous pumpkin.
Ask your mom about who she was before you knew her.
Take pictures.
Let the afternoon run longer than you planned.
You do not need to wait for Mother’s Day to spend intentional time with your mother.
And if your mom isn’t the person who fills this role in your life, take the aunt, grandmother, older sister, chosen family member or whoever does.
The point isn’t really autumn.
It’s realizing there are people you love who you keep assuming you’ll have more time with.
And hopefully you do.
But you also have this Saturday.
Call her.
SAVE THE QUIZ!
