How a Porn Career Helped Tasha Reign Understand Her Sexuality
Tasha Reign is a porn star — a sex worker who wears that title proudly. In her weekly column, she’s here to educate Galore readers on the topics that most people are too shy to broach. This week: her journey to defining her own sexual orientation.
Let me start by stating that my first sexual experiences were with girls and I was in elementary school. Yep, sounds pretty sketchy but guess what, thats a lot of women’s “secret” story.
I would hump my pillow, sometimes alone and sometimes with my girlfriends at the same time. I would give “massages” to them and vice versa. I always felt very guilty. Although it wasn’t direct contact or actually sex, it was still sexual. I believe that shame came from the idea that I thought I could be attracted to girls and not boys and be labeled as a lesbian. I remember that anxiety being such a burden.
Of course, it’s because of social norms that I thought being into girls was “wrong” or “weird,” though I certainly do not remember anyone specifically telling me that. I must have caught on through television or homophobic conversation between family or friends. But it sunk in, for sure.
The first time I hooked up with a female in my personal life was with a boyfriend and my best friend at a party in my hometown. Our best friend witnessed everything. It was mostly just making out and maybe some fingering, and I was more into watching my boyfriend doing something with someone else than into that specific girl. But we were 17 years old at the time. So this was pretty epic.
Fast forward five years later and I am working on a girl-on-girl Penthouse photo shoot with a model named Ash Hollywood and I am completely lost. Yes, she was gorgeous, my makeup was on point, but there were cameras and lights and then action. This totally threw me off. I had only ever hooked up with two girls before this day (not including my childhood pillow-hump-and-massage experimentation) and I was just so lost.
Then, my agent called me to tell me that directors were calling him to tell him I was not into women and to stop booking me for girl girl scenes. I was devastated. Was I not a great actress? Can they not tell I like women? What was wrong with me?! I had to work on my performance, for months. And even today people still make rude comments on social media about my often hit or miss girl-on-girl scenes of the past. This is because sometimes I am booked with people I don’t know and the first time you have sex with someone is not always the most organic interaction, and therefore capturing it on camera only enhances all the flaws in that.
Since the start of my career, I have figured out how to make things more natural-looking and force chemistry with whoever I do a scene with, as well as filter out who I want to get intimate on screen with. That first date on set was exciting and glamorous and ultimately a pretty great first girl on girl camera experience, especially because Ash knew I was new and she was already a lesbian vet by this point I believe.
No matter what my agent said, in terms of my sexual orientation, I am into girls. I am just more particular and picky with my women than I am with my men. I love women sexually. I have never tried dating a woman although I will admit that I signed up to “Bumble” looking to match with women recently and found little luck.
However, I find them extremely attractive and like to go down on them and vice versa. Girls just give the best head. It helps that they know what it feels like to have a clit.
Making adult films with women has given me an opportunity to experiment with my sexuality in ways I most likely never would have. In high school I remember watching Jenna Haze do girl-girl porn by a fireplace and thinking it looked so comfortable. Women enjoy watching lesbian sex scenes, even if they may not identity as bisexual. But I certainly think that is inaccurate, don’t you? I read once that there was no correlation between the two, but I find that really difficult to believe. Just because you haven’t fucked another woman doesn’t mean that you’re not bisexual.
I now identify as bi, but I don’t feel the need the lead with it while I date, although I will mention it during a conversation a few dates in. I guess I’m nervous because of the stereotypes that accompany bisexuality — maybe the guy will think I am, a. not that into him or b. want to have a threesome.
The more aware I am, the older I get, I feel more comfortable in my preference for both genders and in the fact I am not completely straight than I ever did before. I love the fact LGBT is now a prominent discussion and focal point of our presidential election. The world is changing for the better, and I am so incredibly proud to be a part of it.
I advise anyone semi-curious about this subject to branch out and see what other sexualities you may identify with or genders you may want to schedule some adult play time with. Life is short, all our sexuality is pretty grey on the spectrum and that’s okay.
XOXOX, LOVE TASHA
