Will You Ever Find A Guy Who Understands You?
In every romantic comedy, the true test of love is not washboard abs, or six-figure paycheck, or even Hollywood style romance. The sign of love that we really envy when watching our favorite rom-coms is when the leading lady find a guy that simply “gets” her.
I’m aware that “gets” isn’t really the scientific or grammatically correct term, but you know what I mean. You want a guy who knows what to say without you telling him, a guy who knows when you’re sad and knows how to cheer you up, a guy that can practically read you mind.
Unfortunately, unless you’re dating a man who’s a clairvoyant, you probably end up with a different type of guy. Your guy sometimes says the completely wrong things, he makes you cry when he’s trying to make you smile, he bought you chocolate cupcakes for your birthday even though you’re allergic to chocolate…it happens.
The thing is, nobody is perfect alone, so there’s no way in hell that we can be perfect with another person on top of that. As much as we want to believe that we can bump into a stranger on the street and “click,” it doesn’t really work like that. The idea of “love at first sight” is a lot more like lust at first sight (plus or minus about five tequila shots).
No guy, and I mean no guy, is going to completely understand you on the first date. To be honest, he probably still won’t completely understand you on the 10th date. And in reality, you don’t want him to. If your boyfriend came with a manual, would you even want him? Half of the excitement in a relationship is attempting (and sometimes failing) to figure someone else out. What makes them happy? What makes them tick? What makes them upset? What makes them horny?
Believe it or not, you are fucking complicated. Someone can stalk you on every single form of social media and still not know how the hell to win you over. They might know your favorite band, your favorite food, and the name of your three best friends; but there are still so many things about each and every one of us that can only be learned through getting to know one another. Are you ticklish? Do you cry during sad movies? What helps you to cheer up? What are you afraid of? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done for someone else?
Instead of wasting your time trying to find the guy who knows exactly what you want and when you want it, focus on finding a guy who makes the effort to try to understand the wackiness and the rollercoaster of emotions that revolve around your brain. If a guy takes the time to ask you questions and makes the effort to remember the little things about you, he’s worth your time. And if you find a guy who knows everything about you right away? He’s probably a stalker…not “the one.”
In our generation of quick-fixes and instant gratification, dating can be a game of torture. How do we know if we’re wasting our time with someone? How long are our relationships going to last? How do we know if our emotions are for real?
But unlike the methods in which we use to order sushi or the way we call our uber, the dating process is something we should really take our time with. Your significant other can’t read the label on you like the nutrition facts on a Diet Coke can, let him get to know you inside… and outside, all on his own.