You Need to Stop Pretending That You Don’t Have Feelings

As single 20-something women, we have lots of sh*tty stuff to deal with on a daily basis. We get cat-called by toothless construction workers, we have to watch our drinks to make sure they’re not getting roof-ied. Even when we don’t get roof-ied, we still manage to black-out and make dumb decisions (and then have to deal with the consequences). As much as we love to complain about our #singlegirlproblems, we also are horribly afraid of relationships.

Well…maybe not relationships exactly. Having a boyfriend sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Constant sex, free food, someone to shovel the driveway when it snows…It’s just that we prefer to go 0 to 100 real quick. Being single is cool, and being in a relationship is cool too. But that limbo stage in between? It’s probably worse than that one time you ran into your ex boyfriend’s grandmother on your post-Halloween walk of shame.

There are low points of being single (when you went solo to your sister’s wedding and almost made out with your third cousin) and there are low points of being in a relationship (breaking down at his door crying after a drunk fight). But in that middle-limbo phase it feels like all f*cking low points. Wondering if a dude feels the same way about you can literally take over your life. Not to mention trying to play things cool so he doesn’t catch on to your feelings in the event that he doesn’t feel the same.

In our current dating culture it’s not “cool” to be the one to confess your love (or lust, or like-like, whatever). Pride ends up playing more into our relationships than our actual emotions do. Most people I know would probably rather take their secret crush to the grave than to ever face the possibility of being rejected, or worse– being the one that cares too much.

But the thing about closing your heart off to ward off heartbreak, is that you’re also warding off love. The former may seem more common than the latter these days, but risks are what life is all about, right?

I’m not saying you should run over to your man’s house, throw rocks at his window, and profess your undying love for him…but pretending you don’t give a sh*t isn’t doing a service to either of you. In case you didn’t realize, most guys are clueless, and if you are hoping that he’ll miraculously realize you care about him as more than a friend, don’t hold your breath honey. Instead of running away from the guy that you’re starting to feel for, or making up excuses as to why you’re not looking for a relationship right now, maybe you just need to loosen up your grip…and fall.


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