Read This Before Having Sex in the Water

It’s summer, and romance is in the air.

Wait, maybe it’s not romance…maybe it’s just sex.

Summer is the perfect time for hot hook-ups. Whether you’re meeting sexy foreign guys on your euro trip, or getting hit on by lifeguards at the beach, there’s plenty of opportunity to get your pussy wet. One thing you don’t want to do? Get your pussy wet where other people are getting wet– namely, the pool, ocean, or lake. While it seems like a fun, adventurous place to get it on, you might not be feeling quite as sexy afterwards; here’s why:

Bacteria Is Swimming In That Sh*t 

What’s something that can immediately ruin your beach trip? Not your period, but a UTI or yeast infection. Unless you’re swimming in a personal pool of Evian water, it’s highly likely that there’s a slew of bacteria joining you in there for a mid-afternoon dip. This bacteria doesn’t usually cause problems on your tougher, outer skin layers, but can definitely cause issues in your more private areas. God only knows how many little brats (or college dudes) have peed in the pool, not to mention the amount of people swimming around with un-bandaged cuts and other nasty human skin situations. Even if you luck out and don’t walk away with an infection, you’re likely to be experiencing slight discomfort post-sex.

Water Is The Anti-Lube

You may have discovered this fun fact during shower sex. While as a pre-pubescent child you imagined steamy water making sex slippery and fun, it actually makes you dryer than the Sahara Desert. If you think it’s bad in the shower, try it in salt-water. Nobody likes chafing, especially when you’ve got a dick.

STDs Are More Likely To Spread

In an ideal world, you and your partner have discussed your sexual histories and getting tested. Unfortunately, if you’re hooking up with a Portuguese tourist who hardly speaks english, you may have skipped over the “Do you have herpes?” conversation. In this case, I would hope you’re using a condom. Unfortunately, condoms have a much higher likelihood of tearing in the water, not to mention that your vaginal walls also have a higher chance of tearing. Both of these instances highly increase the rate that STDs can be transmitted. If you still feel the need to fornicate in the ocean, doctors suggest putting the condom on and taking the condom off when fully out of the water.

You’re Probably Not A Swimmer Or An Acrobat

Have you ever really seen people have sex in the water? I mean really have sex in the water, not a photograph or a gif, I mean a full feature film from start to finish. You probably haven’t. Why? Because that sh*t is extremely far from graceful. There are only so many positions you can engage in without drowning each other, and if you’re a short chick this gets even more challenging. You may swim out searching for an orgasm, but you may swim in with an injury (or worse, an STD).

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