You Don’t Miss Him, You Miss The Idea Of Him


Coming out of a relationship is always tough at first. You’re a little disoriented, your face is probably still swollen and puffy from crying, and maybe you camp out at your best friend’s apartment until you’re ready to face yours.

Because you know that your apartment is going to be a little more empty. His existence will be erased except for the few items he accidentally forgot and left behind like a pair of pj pants, an old birthday card, or his comic book file he left downloaded on your laptop.

And as much as you start to feel down about how things dissolved, you have to remember why they did in the first place.

Of course this can become cloudy once opinions from friends are being thrown in or you’re experiencing judgment coming through from those who weren’t even in the relationship to begin with.


There are only two people in a relationship. Unless you’re a polygamist. Then there are probably like 5 people in your relationship. But for the majority of us, there are two. And no one will ever fully understand your break-up or the reasons behind it besides the both of you.

I’m not placing all the blame on my ex and saying he messed everything up. I know I made some mistakes, too. And even though we ended on non-speaking terms, I don’t think poorly of him. We weren’t meant to be in a relationship is all. Hell, we probably should have just stayed friends.

But even then, I can’t be upset with him because we really didn’t mesh well in terms of dating. And although I was sad for a bit, about how everything happened, I can’t say that I feel as hurt anymore.


I miss the idea of him though. Having someone to spend the night with, text everyday, go to dinner with, introduce to friends, etc. Society spends most of it’s time programming us with information like you’re not completely fulfilled if you’re single or you need someone by your side to win at life.

But I think that you can still do this with a few best friends by your side. You don’t necessarily need a man to feel happy or successful or whatever it may be. And even though there will be those days when your ex creeps back into your mind and takes over your thoughts, you have to remember all the love you’re surrounded with already from your friends.

Because those are the ones who will keep you afloat and really winning at life.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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