If I Want To Sleep With You On Our First Date, Then I Will


Let’s be honest for a second. We all live extremely busy lives. I’m lucky if I can squeeze in more than 4 hours of sleep, have breakfast before catching the train, attempt to pack a healthy lunch for work, make sure none of my tights have holes, respond to text messages etc. So when it comes to dating, I know we’re told to take it slow and steady when we first meet someone we like.

But, I don’t have time to waste. They say hooking up is the most important part of a relationship. That if it is excruciatingly horrible then it will be almost impossible to fix. Which is why I have no problem at all with hooking up on the first date.

How many of us remember watching Sex And The City and watching the awful episodes of Charlotte who was stuck in a no hook up marriage where she had to work and work for her man’s treasure to stay hard? It was a scary thing to watch of course, but it made me think how I would be completely miserable if I invested time and energy and feelings into one guy and then a few weeks or months later I realize that he’s bad in the sack. Or you end up like Charlotte and marry the broken man.

Maybe that’s why Britney Spears shaved her head in 2007. Maybe that’s why Kim Kardashian divorced Chris Humphries. Maybe that’s why my old college professor always seemed depressed.

I know a lot of my girlfriends who will have hook up with a guy and that’s it. They’re completely attached already and it messes with their feelings. Which is actually one of the main differences between men and women after doing it. All the hormones that get released. In fact, girls will release a higher level of oxytocin during a climax than men.

Oxytocin is the hormone that makes a girl feel attached to a man and it’s pretty much unavoidable. It’s the main reason why women feel a sense of attachment to the man their rolling around in bed with. But guys after will have lower dopamine levels which result in detachment. This is also probably why girls love to cuddle after hooking up and guys just want to roll over and spoon their favorite pillow.

But I think I missed the oxytocin hormone. Because I’m not a fan of cuddling afterwards. I only like cuddling if I’m with my man on the couch watching movies. Or I’m freezing my ass off smoking a cigarette outside. And I definitely feel no sense of attachment after sleeping with a man.

Actually, I think one of the saddest mornings was when I woke up after a one night stand and I was quietly trying to fix last night’s make-up in his bathroom until he woke up. He walked over to the bathroom and asked me to come back to bed and cuddle for a bit. I mean, it’s those situations where your eyes turn into deer in headlights and you walk back to his room like a puppy who just got in trouble.

But my point is that hooking up is crucial in a relationship. And I’m tired of girls being told we have to wait until we know someone and we’re not allowed to sleep with men on the first date because then they won’t respect us. I respect myself and I know what I want.

Madonna, the great one, once said, “I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

And I can’t agree more. If I’m on a first date with you and I know I want to sleep with you then I will. And honestly, it’s almost a form of flattery because it means I find you so incredibly irresistible that I have to try you. If I don’t think about sleeping with you during our first date then that’s probably a bad sign already. I probably don’t find you physically attractive.

Plus, if the hook up is repulsive or weak then we don’t have to waste our time or money on dates afterwards. He can continue to swipe for love and I’ll move on to my next victim.

But if we happen to have a mind-blowing night then why not try getting to know each other more? If we have chemistry in the bedroom then we just might have chemistry outside it as well. I’ll guess we’ll just have to hook up and see.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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