10 Reasons Why I Will Never Date An American Guy – From A Mexican Girl
While I don’t mean to generalize every american boy out there, my few years in college have made me realize my chances of finding an american bae are slim. Here’s Why:
1. When They Buy You A Drink They Expect You To Go Home With Them
Ok, so you buy me a 3$ drink at the local college bar and you expect me to sleep with you. No offense, but my Uber ride to the bar was more expensive than the Vlad you are supplying for me.
I’m not expecting you to know how to salsa, but rubbing your dick against my ass definitely doesn’t make up for your lack of dancing skills.
3. They Don’t Understand How To Be “Just Friends” With A Girl
I understand movies like “Friends with Benefits” have created unrealistic expectations, but can you be friends with a girl without trying to f*ck her every time you’re drunk?
4. They Think F*cking A Lot Of Girls In Their Lifetime Is An Accomplishment
Congratulations! You have now f*cked 50 girls and have been awarded Chlamydia! Sexy? I think not.
5. They Don’t Know Their Limits
If you know you can only handle 4 Natty Lights, don’t take 4 shots of Tequila at the bar.
6. They Laugh At Any Grammar Mistake You Make In English
Alright, I get that I have a funny accent and make some grammar mistakes. That’s only because I’m thinking in two languages and learning a third. You making fun of me is not cute, it’s annoying. How many languages can you speak?
7. They Have The Worst Pickup Lines
Every time I bring up in a conversation that I’m Latin, inevitably a guy follows up with “I speak Spanish.” No, you don’t. Your three years of high school spanish don’t make you fluent. I’d rather you talk about more substantial things rather than focus on your stereotypical Latina image.
8. Their “Style” Is A Joke
Excluding the sexy NY fashionistas, any foreigner can tell you they can spot an American a mile away. Your expensive Vineyard Vines shirt and khakis don’t impress me. I’ve actually heard a guy say he hates Zara because it’s “too European.”
Well no shit, maybe you should learn from them and dress well for a change.
I have kissed enough American boys to know 90% of them don’t know what they’re doing. If you don’t even know how to kiss I don’t wanna know what you’ll do down there…
The amount of times I’ve had american guys ask me if Mexico City is actually urban or why my skin is pale is embarrassing. I have gotten asked questions like, “I heard pollution is bad, can you see the other side of the street?” or, “Do people ride donkeys?”
Ok, I don’t know when the last time you watched the news or did some research, but right now I’m not laughing at your attempt at flirting, I’m laughing at you being a complete idiot.