Why You’re Never Going To Achieve Confidence Through Compliments
In today’s society it seems that it’s pretty easy to get a confidence boost, especially as a woman. Want someone to notice you? Throw yourself at them after 5 vodka- tonics. Need someone to call you sexy? Throw up a half-naked Instagram photo and watch the compliments roll on through.
We all do it, don’t tell me that you don’t enjoy the feeling of when your ex “likes” your Facebook photo or your crush retweets you.
But, at the end of the day this feeling of confidence is flawed.
Why? Because the feeling your getting is fleeting. How many likes do you need on your last selfie to make yourself feel worth it? And how long is it going to take before you’ve been grounded and need to post something crazier and more attention worthy?
It works the same with sex. When you get dumped or hurt by a guy, your first instinct might be to hop in bed with another guy. A guy who calls you hot, who can’t get enough of you, a guy who makes you feel beautiful. But what about when he’s gone? Are you just going to jump to another guy and hope for the best? Because that’s not going to work forever.
I spend a lot of time writing about what boys like, how to impress them, and how to please them. But, at the end of the day you’re always going to be your number one fan (or you should be). Searching for validation in men (or anyone but yourself, for that matter) is like a drug. The more you get, the more you need to reach that same feeling again. You’ll drive yourself crazy, and you’ll never feel good enough.
So, what to do if this is sounding all too familiar and you want to stop? Break the habit the only way you know how, with a cleanse to your system. If you find yourself sleeping with a new guy every night, take a break from casual sex. If you can’t go a day without posting a selfie, take an Instagram hiatus. Trust me, it might seem like a long time ago, but there was a time where you didn’t have any of these crutches, and you didn’t need them either.
Instead of spending thirty minutes trying to capture the perfect pout in your new crop top, or swiping right to losers on Tinder, spend your precious time doing something that makes you feel amazing because it’s unique to you. Exercise, paint, write, whatever! So many of the hobbies you once loved get lost due to school, work, etc. And even though it only seems like you check social media when you have a minute, that time adds up.
With celebrities managing to always look flawless, it’s easy to be down on yourself and talk about how you want “Kim’s ass” or “Ariana Grande’s hair” or whatever it is. I’m not saying you need to sing Beyonce’s ‘Flawless’ every morning when you wake up, but confidence is the key to success. And if you think it’s going to take a while to be as confident as Kanye? Fake it till you make it.
You’re a boss bitch and you don’t need anyone’s approval to tell you that.