Why You Need To Stop Searching For Fireworks
You watched them on the beach with your parents every fourth of July as a kid. You got drunk and let your boyfriend and his friends light them up in his backyard every Summer. Now, you will probably still get drunk, and black-out and miss the fireworks all together.
But aside from the flammable and sometimes illegal things that go off on the fourth of July, there are another type of fireworks that girls are always searching for– better known as “the spark.”
In the film He’s Just Not That Into You, Alex has a pretty brilliant quote about “the spark:”
Guys invented the “spark” so that they could not call, and treat you kind of bad, and keep you guessing, and they convince you that that anxiety and that fear that they’re throwing at you is actually, just a “spark.” And you guys all buy it. You eat it up. And you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama.
When’s the last time you felt fireworks with a guy? Was it the guy that always called when he said he would? Was it the guy who brought you Ice Cream to the studio when you were up all night finishing your design project? No, it was the guy who was never there when you wanted him to be. It was the guy who kept you on your toes, who you tried to be good enough for, and probably never were.
Yet, now that you’re older and possibly searching for something more serious, you can’t seem to find that “spark” that you yearn for. You’re probably comparing every guy to the last guy who you truly cared for, and I’m sure there was a spark with him, right? How did things end with him, huh? If you can honestly tell me that he didn’t drive you crazy, you’re probably lying.
The problem with fireworks, is that they ignite and quickly explode into darkness. They’re gone just as fast as they come. Are those principles that you want in your next relationship?
Love at first site is probably a myth, but lust at first site is certainly not. The problem arises when you try to turn lustful passion into something stable. Fireworks aren’t meant to be chained to the ground. They’re meant to be beautiful and enjoyed for a minute, or even just a second.
Maybe, the reason you’re not finding the “spark” with reliable guys, is because the spark isn’t romantic at all. Maybe the spark is that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you feel that someone is forgetting about you. The feeling that you’re never going to be good enough. The feeling that you’re waiting for someone who will never truly be yours.
That’s not to say that uninhibited passion isn’t an amazing thing, it is. If you’re immediately drawn to someone across the room and can’t keep your hands off each other, it’s awesome. However, maybe that moment is fleeting, and you need to let it go as soon as it came.
Instead of trying to capture all of the fireworks to be yours forever, sit back and enjoy them as they pass you by.