Why We Should Probably Stop Paying Attention to Men’s Opinions
As someone who attends a Women’s College, and has lived my life as a queer woman for a while now, it’s been really easy for me to render men completely irrelevant. Rarely does a man’s opinion dictate how I choose to go about my life– and that extends to all aspects, whether it is how I am dressed, what career path I choose, how I speak, how much space I take up in public or in the classroom, and what type of music I listen to, or who I date (I once had an ex tell someone that I only started dating my current SO to make him jealous, the narcissism is just too real sometimes).
Since men are really good at being really loud about what they like, however, it may seem difficult to tune them out entirely. But, that doesn’t mean that you should let their loudness stop you from going about your life and doing you. Here’s why…
Over the years, internet communities have become safe harbors people with terrible opinions. This is especially the case with regards to Men’s Rights Activists. I won’t bother linking the blogs where these men congregate because, they aren’t worthy of your clicks, comments, or time. Instead, I’ll give you a run down of the types of things that are written on these websites and discussed in their comment sections (shudder). Over and over again MRA blogs have published think piece after worthless think piece about how women should look, act, speak, behave, ect. Whether it has to do with your sexual behavior, or how short you have cut your hair, MRAs love discussing what types of things women should be doing with their bodies, what types of laws should be overturned that currently protect women (think all things related to rape and sexual assault, lovely right?) and how women’s role on earth is to be fertile walking wombs. For these men, all our actions should be dedicated to fulfilling men’s desires since our purpose on earth is to act as a vessel of procreation any way.
It’s interesting that these men have decided that women should be entirely focused on making ourselves appealing to them. It’s like they don’t even realize gay women exist who couldn’t care less if they look attractive to men our not. For me, it seems completely absurd seeing as how, the last thing I want at the age of 21 is a bunch of babies or a husband (shudder). Indeed, for many women like me (ahem, queer girls) being wifed up to a man is neither a goal nor aspiration. We’re focused on a lot of other things (like a lot of women are)– whether that be our education, our own sense of happiness, or our careers. Here is a short run down of the things I’m currently thinking about on a regular basis way more than whether I am sexually appealing and looking like marital material to a dude in no particular order: my thesis, my GPA, where the hell I put my keys, whether or not I’ll be graduating with honors, my fellowship responsibilities, when my next article is getting published, updating my resumé, how hot Rihanna looks in the photo I just saw of her, how badly I am craving macaroni and cheese.
So, today, as I did my usual round of reading the news on the Internet and I stumbled across another well written critique by a woman of some MRA’s dumb think piece about what he thinks about women with pixie cuts, my eyes glazed over and I thought to myself, why are smart capable women spending their time debunking tired myths perpetuated by Men’s Right’s Activists? What’s the point of rehashing how wrong these stereotypes are, linking to prominent MRA’s articles, and giving the anger and attention they love to elicit?
I then took it a step further and asked myself, why are women spending their time whatsoever giving any semblance of a f*ck about how and what men conceive of them? Whether it’s a MRA or your average dude on the street who feels the need to tell you how much make up he wants you to wear, what punk music really is, or how Beyoncé isn’t a true artiste. Sorry to inform you, but I can’t say I really have the energy to listen to your irrelevant opinions ad nauseam, let alone shape my entire life around what you like. Did men forget that women are full and complete complex human beings with the ability to formulate our own opinions, and that we have no time to cater our lives to a growing population of entitled man children? Dude… I’ve got things to do.
When you’re as busy as most of us are, and have as much on your plate as most of us do… how on earth does anyone muster up the energy and f*cks to give about what men think? So can we please stop giving attention to these dudes and their opinions? Because, I really don’t have time to write another article like this again.