Why Sloppy Seconds May Not Always Be Such A Bad Idea

Sloppy seconds get a bad rep because they’re, well, sloppy. Maybe you decide to sleep with that asshole who comes crawling back after he hurt you or maybe you’re just bored and hit up your old bae for some ex sex. Whatever it is there’s usually some sloppy aspect to it—but maybe we’ve been looking at it from the wrong perspective. Instead of the mountains of self-loathing that almost always comes with revisiting previous hook-ups, maybe we should see those little trysts as a blessing in disguise. Because I just had a blast from my fuckboy past and let me just tell you, nothing made me get over that loser faster than waking up next to him in bed again.

Writing it now makes me cringe at the thought of ever seeing him ever again,  or god forbid, sleeping with him again. Embarrassingly enough, I was fairly into him at one point, when I was big into the club scene for awhile and had seen him around because he was a promoter (gag) but we didn’t officially meet until a party at Coachella. We hooked up there and then once we were back in Los Angeles, where he’d always ask me to go into the clubs with him and then home with him after. I thought I was so special, because he was always surrounded by all these pretty girls but only ever went home with me. Obviously he was hooking up with other chicks, but what really ended our fling was a new shiny girl that came into the picture. I was replaced.

It had been a while since we had seen each other, until one fateful night when I was out at a club. He immediately tried to get me to sit at his table and kept texting me throughout the night asking where I was in the club and if I would go back and hang with him. Even though I had been into him when I was in a very different place in my life, I still couldn’t help but revel in him trying so hard to get back in my good graces. It worked.

When I woke up the next morning with him next to me all I wanted to do was take a shower to wash away the stench of regret and bad decisions coming off of me. The sex was awful. Second, he stayed asleep in my bed way too long in the morning. And I realized it wasn’t because he just wanted to stay with me for as long as he could, it was because he literally had nothing to do or wake up for. All he did was promote, so he basically parties all night and sleeps all day. He’s a fucking loser.

Sloppy seconds definitely make hindsight 20/20, but what matters is that you do end up seeing it. As irritated as I am with myself for sleeping with fuckboy of the year again, I’m more grateful that I will never be wondering if maybe we could have dated under different circumstances, or why he replaced me with some chick. I know now that he is not worth my thoughts, I can move on to people actually worth my time. My self-esteem was actually repaired after my sloppy second—who would have thought?

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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