Why Miranda Is Actually The Person You Want To Be (And Why Carrie Isn’t)
Yes, that’s right ladies. For the millions of girls out there who’ve always referred to themselves as the “Carrie” of their group of friends, I’m sorry that I’m shitting on your dreams, but it’s high time that you get to know the truth: Carrie is the worst. Sure, she worked at Vogue and had millions of shoes and got her million dollar man in the end, but at what cost? To better show my point, let’s take a look back at all of the ladies and analyze exactly why being the “Miranda” of the group should be your actual life goal.
Yes, Charlotte York had the best hair, I’ll give her that. The private school bred, blue-blooded yuppy seemed like the perfect package, but she was just so desperate to get a ring on her finger, have a baby and move to Connecticut that she barely had time to discover herself. Also, Charlotte was the least sexually evolved of the entire group…I mean, she didn’t even like to give blowjobs, and who doesn’t like to give blowjobs!? Boring, boring, boring.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Samantha! She was the only one that truly embraced their sexuality with no shame and got dick from hot guys on the regular…literally, a hero. However, you have to wonder what Samantha’s going to do now that all of her friends got married and she’s only getting older. Given, she had her high power PR job and no kids to take care of (which is fabulous, I’ll give her that), but with that path comes a long and winding road headed straight towards an old people’s home (*sad face*)
Carrie..oh, CARRIE. You may be wondering why I’m hating on everyone’s favorite character but you have to admit she did some f***ing annoying things. Desperately chasing Mr. Big for nearly a decade trying to get him to marry her like an eager old hag (only for him to leave her at the alter in the first movie, and for her to cheat on him in the second), disposing of perfectly good guys because of tiny flaws (that most of us in the real world would be happy to deal with in comparison), and that F***ING HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL OF A LAUGH! If any of the women reading her column actually knew the truth of how desperate she was, they would’ve stopped subscribing immediately and asked for their money back.
It may come as a surprise that the neurotic, red haired, fairly unattractive character is the person you’d actually want to be, but let’s look at the facts. Miranda Hobbes was a Harvard educated, high power lawyer that always put her career first, money second, and dick last. Sure she wasn’t the prettiest of the group, but that didn’t stop her from having it all and more before everyone else. Miranda was the first person to buy her own apartment, get married to a great guy (who never made her chase him around, btw), and have a baby; however, the best part about Miranda is that she got it all and didn’t need a man to do shit for her! Take notes, ladies, take notes.