Why I Am Really Sick Of Boys Breaking My Friends’ Hearts
I’m really sick of my friends feeling like they aren’t good enough.
I’m not talking about how they feel about their body image, or their SAT scores, or their bank accounts. I’m talking about how they feel about boys.
The moment that your best friend’s heart breaks, your heart breaks just a little bit too. When she cries over an asshole, you’re crying by her side (or maybe plotting his death instead). Every time she wonders what she did wrong, you’re there to scream in her face that he’s the one who’s been doing shit wrong, not her.
I understand that the majority of relationships will ultimately fail, that your early 20s aren’t necessarily the time to find love (especially in 2015), and that drunk sex isn’t the key to finding bae. But, at the same time, it seems that every time one of my girlfriends come running to me with mascara-stained cheeks, it’s for the same reason.
Nobody cheated on her, nobody verbally abused her, nobody even broke up with her. I say this because none of my friends were even “officially” dating anyone in the first place. Do you know how shitty it feels to get broken up with by somebody that you’re not even dating? It’s not “I think we need to break up,” it’s “We can’t do this anymore.” What the fuck is “this” anyways? The problem lies in the fact that neither the girl or the boy never knew what exactly was going on between them anyways. Sometimes, it’s just a blank space (sorry Taylor) in the text message that was never answered or a Snapchat that was never replied to, and your pseudo-relationship, is over quicker than you could say “mancrushmonday.”
Have you ever heard the phrase “if you can’t take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen?” That is exactly how I feel about men entering the dating pool. If you as a man aren’t prepared to let yourself be vulnerable and care for another person, than why don’t you stick to jacking off to porn? Or at least sleep with girls who know your intentions, rather than leading innocent girls into believing that maybe you actually wanted something more, that maybe you actually gave a shit.
The thing is, that I really believe that guys do give a shit, their problem lies in the fact that they can’t admit it. As cliche as it is to tell a girl that “he’s running away because he likes you too much, he’s scared,” I believe in my heart that many times this is true, and I’ll tell my friend if that’s what I see in the dude that ghosted her. I see it happening all around me (and to me). Granted, I won’t place all the blame on men, I myself can be guilty of this too. But, it seems that more often the whole game of “who can care less” ends up in the dude’s favor.
I’m really tired of wiping my friends tears. Not because I don’t want to be there for my friends, but because I am sick of guys getting away with the shit that they pull. A guy will leave a girl crying, go off to his friends and call her “crazy,” then probably find a new girl to start liking until he gets scared again.
It’s not that I want my own heart broken, I really don’t, but can boys at least stop fucking with my friends’ hearts? The next time I have to mend my BFF’s broken heart, you can bet your ass I’m putting the asshole who fucked with her on blast.
All images from The Feminist Wire