Why Distance Doesn’t Make The Heart Grow Fonder
The amount of myths surrounding relationships could form a book longer than the bible. “Boys are mean because they like you,” “He didn’t call because he’s intimidated by you,” “Having sex with a guy means he’ll never want to date you.” But, one that seems to come into circulation, particularly around summertime, is that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
It’s a romantic thought, isn’t it? When your man is away, doing his own thing, he’s going to miss you more and crave you and count down the days until you can be in his arms again. It’s all very romance novel approved, right?
Unfortunately, life is not a romance novel (or movie, or play, or whatever the f*ck the people are watching these days).
How do you get over an ex? I mean really get over an ex. You stop talking to them. You unfriend them on Facebook. You completely delete them in your life, and eventually (or hopefully), you forget about them.
So why would this work any differently for your current love interest?
If you think that being away from your sweetie is going to make your love grow, I can tell you with 100% certainty that you are wrong.
I’m not saying that you can’t have a successful long distance relationship, because you can. Your relationship could possibly grow stronger because you two have more to talk about in the times you get to chat, or because your relationship stops revolving solely about sex. But, if you’re a red-blooded human being, there’s no way you’re going to love someone more by not seeing them.
What are you going to love more?
- A new person that you meet while away
- An idea of your boo
What do I mean by “an idea of your boo?” I mean that person that you think of when you still miss your ex. When you’re not with someone, it’s easy to idealize them. You never have to deal with their bad qualities. You get to talk to them on the phone when they’re in a good enough mood to call you, you get to see sexy snaps of them flexing when they woke up looking sexy. You’re not there for the bad days, the cereal for dinner, the drunk-mess on a Saturday night.
If you’re lucky, you’ll be reunited and even though he’s not what you had been dreaming about while he was away, you learn to love him anyways. But there’s a good likelihood that what you thought was picture perfect from 3000 miles away is far from it, and you feel like you wasted your time and are now even lonelier than you were before.
What else could happen? You forget. It will start small. You forget to text him back on a busy morning, you forget an anniversary, you forget to mention him when talking to a new guy in your building.
Then one day, you realize that you’re not sure he even knows who you are anymore. You’ve had so many new experiences that you’re not sure you’re even the same girl he fell in love with, you’re not even sure that you want to be.
What’s the beauty of falling out of love when you’re far away? It’s quick and painless.
What’s hard? Not everybody can understand it the way that you do.
At the end of the day, life is about living in the moment. You don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, ever. Keep your heart close. Whether you’re travelling down the street or flying across the globe. Like the brain, time takes a toll on the heart–and so does space. If you wait too long, distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder, it makes the heart forget.