Why Big Hairy Men Are The Sexiest Kind Of Men
I love dogs so…
The best dog I ever owned was a pit bull; he was huge, unfathomably strong, kind, and loyal. There’s something completely adorable about a creature that seems so mean and powerful; but is actually incredibly sweet on the inside. Honestly, I’d rather not open conversation about sex with a comparison between men and dogs- but, hear me out; the reason I love pit bulls is the essentially same reason why many women and men love hairy, husky dudes.
There’s something captivating about a man who’s large and formidable look belies a heart of gold. I started young; my first TV crush being Mr Banks, the patriarch on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air – I was mesmerized by his size and authority. It’s continued over the years because, like many, I simply can’t resist the attraction to man that looks like he could single handedly squash me like a bug; but has the emotional complexity and brain power to, like, not do it.
Our babies tho
Besides, I don’t think I can even help it, guys! It’s my ovaries talking. There’s a primal attraction to a whiskered man that physically takes up a lot of space in the world- and that instinctual process goes something like this: “Ooga chakka, ooga chakka; this man can put babies inside me! Those babies will grow up to be big and strong! IMPREGNATE ME, BIG BOY!”
Something to hold on to
When I think of my dream man- he’s strong, kind and patient, he’s good with his hands and gets shit done. He doesn’t need to be rich or fancy, and when I imagine a man that embodies those stereotypes- I like to think of him being.. a little bit refrigerator like. And covered in a thick down of hair. And probably tattoos as well. Besides, having something big to hold onto is super sexy and comforting. I don’t NEED protecting or to be looked after, but it’s nice to feel that if I wanted that; the option is there. I’m definitely guilty of some masculine fetishization here, and as a feminist artist who actively rebels against societal gender expectations, the problematic nature of my double standard feels a little icky. Icky, but sexy. But like with most fetishes- it’s the complicated ones that are the sexiest.
Fit men are cool too, but
I’m not discounting the fit, well groomed men- they’re attractive in their own way too; but they get a tone of public accolades everyday- so I’d want to give a shout out to the HAIRY, HEFTY man; because I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. There’s lots of flavors to buffet. Some of us prefer meat. NOM NOM.