6 Reasons Why Basic Bitches Have Ruined Boys For All Of Us

Boys suck, there’s no doubt about it. But lately in those moments when I’m appalled at a text message or confused about a dude’s actions, I have realized that there is another culprit in the failure of my love life- basic bitches. Everybody is different, and I’m certainly not going to buy into the boy theory that “all girls are just crazy.” However, is definitely a certain group of girls who go ga-ga over cute text messages, cliche rom-coms, and have a personal connection with Taylor Swift.

I am not one of those girls.

I am not heartless, and I believe in love (I think) just as much as the next person, but I’m a realist and some basic bitch Tiffany’s heart necklace and a “good morning” text don’t exactly get my rocks off. Unfortunately for me, a lot of girls do buy into this, and it’s kind of ruined boys for chicks like me, here’s why:

Basic_Bitch_Taylor_Swift_Galore

1. They Try To Fit Into a Stereotype

When courting a member of the opposite sex, you obviously want to be what they want (rather then, idk, being yourself?). Unfortunately, what most guys think girls want isn’t always what they actually want. Yes, we don’t want the guy who bangs every chick he comes into contact with. But at the same time, when you try to lie that you “don’t do this kind of stuff a lot” you just sound like a liar and/or inexperienced and weird. Sure, maybe don’t delve into the details about the gang-bang porn you watched all week, but you don’t have to try to be Christian Grey either (unless you are, then feel free to fly me away in your helicopter and spank me).

2. Their Text Message Game Gets Way Too Weird

I won’t delve into why text-messaging has ruined our chances of every having normal relationships, but I will say this: I literally receive text-messages so corny that I don’t even know how to respond. I’m sorry, but if after one date you’re texting me “I really want to kiss you  right now,” it doesn’t sound cute, it sounds creepy and I will have no idea how to respond (so I probably just won’t). I understand that some girls may love this shit, and that’s why boys do it. But for me, I’ll take action over text-message flirting any day.

3. They Read Your Signals ALL WRONG

We all know that girl who hooks up with a guy one date and automatically starts planning their wedding. News flash to boys: WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE THAT. It seems like more often than not, guys are telling girls that “they’re not looking for anything serious” before the girl even hints at wanting to date their lame-ass! Bitch, we don’t want to date you anyways, get over yourself.

4. They Assume All Girls Are The Same  

Sure, a lot of boys like sports and beer, but not every dude does and I know that. Same goes for chicks, while we like many of the same things (shopping, peanut butter, dick) we are not all carbon copies of each other! Just because your ex girlfriend wanted to get matching t-shirts, doesn’t mean I do. And if you your pathetic pick-up line that got you laid last weekend will work again on me, you’re probably wrong.

5. Or That There Are Just Two Types

Alright, maybe the dudes have “figured it out” and learned that not all girls are the same. But if they have, they’ve probably only gone so far as to labeled chicks as “good girls” or “bad girls.” Guess what? All the good girls I know are bad girls that do a damn good job of keeping it on the low. Just because a chick won’t sleep with you on a first date doesn’t mean she’s a saint, and just because a girl likes to get her freak on doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need love too.

6. They Can’t Fathom That Sometimes We Use Them Too 

Us girls are always playing the victim, aren’t we? Boys are always using us for sex, breaking our hearts,  and f***ing us over. Well maybe some of us have decided that we’re over being the damsel in distress, and if we wan’t to get f***ed on a Friday night and never talk to a dude again, we’ll do it. And if you got bottles at the club and we want to use our tits for free champagne showers all night, we will do that too.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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