Taylor Swift Is Okay, But We Like Slutty Taylor Swift Better

No matter whose side you’re on in the whole Katy Perry vs. Taylor Swift debate, I think we can all agree that the bad blood between the two singers is getting kind of old.  No matter what any headline supposedly offers you, what new piece of information can their feud possibly hold?   Still, when I first heard the news that Katy Perry had started following somebody called Slutty Taylor Swift on Instagram, my curiosity was piqued.  Obviously this was some sign, right?

While the media made a lot of fuss about how Slutty Taylor Swift wasn’t what you were expecting, they did a horrible job explaining who she actually was.  So armed with all the “research skills” that my resume promises I have, I stalked Slutty Taylor Swift on Instagram.  This is what I found out:

1. She goes by the name Dinah Vagina

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And BTWs, Dinah is pronounced like Die-nuh – don’t make the same mistake that E! news did

2. She believes no home is complete without a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber to hang on the wall

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3. She’s either an artist, a model, or an artist/model

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4. She was featured in a 2013 Vice article on the continuing cultural impact of Limp Bizkit

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“Fred Durst is a cultural icon. Limp Bizkit is God. When I hear ‘Nookie,’ my heart sings and I feel alive. There are no words to express my love for Durst and Wes Borland. Limp Bizkit is my favorite band in the whole world.”

5. Like Taylor Swift, her squad runs deep (and is full of famous people)

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6. Unlike Taylor Swift, she goes to strip clubs, where she then thinks about Taylor Swift

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7. She likes breaking rules and going to the Renaissance Fair

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8. She didn’t like Yeezus

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9. And she didn’t like If You’re Reading This It’s Too late either

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10. However, she does like Beyonce’s music, and by Beyonce I mean, her older sister.

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11. She’s got a thing for hockey masks.

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12. She’s got a raging boner for pop culture (and a good sense of humor about it).

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