What Your Drunk Text Says About You

I have never been more honest than I am with my iphone after the third shot of tequila. This is when all my love, all my hate, all my sexual frustration reaches its boiling point and comforted by the knowledge that tomorrow morning I will be blaming it on the alcohol, I put my 5th grade typing lessons to work. We all send them. They range from tearful professions of love to scathing, illegible sentences of hate. It can be hard at the time to realize what it is you are actually trying to say (seeing as at that point you can barely speak), but as usual, when it comes to all bad deeds after dark, Galore has you covered. Here is what your drunk texts actually say about you.

“I am drunk, are you awake?”


This text signifies that you are still in the “good drunk” phase. You are happier and gigglier and more energetic than usual but still in control of enough of your senses that you are capable of talking to other people in a coherent manner. You are drunk and you just want to share that love with the world!

“I want to do dirty things to you”


This is when your sexual panther comes out to play (usually after a few tequila sunrises). You text anyone who you are currently drooling over and say everything that you are too afraid to say sober because hell you’re drunk, you look hot and you just want to dance with all your clothes off so what could possibly go wrong?

“I can’t handle it when you talk to other girls”


The sad honesty of the fourth or fifth glass of wine. This text most likely took a lot of effort on your part to put together sans typos but at this point you are drunk and on a mission. Of self sabotage.

“I ducking hate you”

The angry drunk. You are fed up and hurt and something, you aren’t even sure what at this point, just isn’t going your way. This may or may not be how you actually feel toward the person but at this moment you are pissed and have no qualms about letting everyone know about it. Also you aren’t bothering to correct your typos anymore.

“YWCA v Lowell Ha of more pizza another slic pong locate, Gho”

At this point you probably just shouldn’t even be awake right now.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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