What It’s Really Like To Be 22 And Addicted To Ecstasy
Name: Hannah S.
Current city you live in: San Francisco
Occupation: Social Media Manager
What were (are?) you addicted to?
Brief explanation of what the drug is/does/how it feels?
Ecstasy is a pill that is made with MDMA and cut with other drugs like speed. You get an intense feeling of euphoria and an intense body high. You feel like you can talk to anyone or do anything because you feel so good.
When did you start using? Can you describe your first experience?
I started using when I was in college. My friends and I were going to a music festival and we all decided to try it together. I will never feel as good as I did in that moment.
What made you start using?
I was genuinely curious.
What are the negative side effects of using the drug?
There’s a bad come down the next day where you feel very depressed because that feeling is gone. Over time you start feeling more and more depressed when you’re not rolling and you have no energy to do anything. You basically can’t get happy anymore.
At what point did you realize you had a problem?
I was doing it every weekend for a long time. I realized that all I ever did was party and I was just deeply depressed the rest of the time. I wasn’t myself anymore.
What type of help did you seek?
Ecstasy is not as chemically addictive as other drugs, but you just want to do it so you don’t feel that depression all the time. My friends were really worried about me, so I told them to not let me take it again and to not let anyone give it to me.
Can you describe the rehab experience/recovery process?
I was deeply depressed and unhappy for a while when I stopped taking it. I wanted to feel that sense of euphoria again and the thought that I never would was hard for me. But eventually I was able to get naturally happy again.
How long have you been sober?
How is your life different now that you’re sober?
I’m definitely doing much better now. I hardly party anymore and I have gotten my energy and vitality back.
Is there anything you do on a daily basis to stay sober?
I just think of how shitty my life was when I was doing E all the time.
If you could go back and tell yourself anything what would it be?
One night of happiness isn’t worth a life of misery.