What “Eat The Booty Like Groceries” Really Means

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A comprehensive guide to eating a$$. 

What does “eat the booty like groceries mean”. Rimming has been around for a while now, probably since the beginning of time, but ever since Nicki Minaj rapped the phrase, “He tossed my salad like his name Romaine” the topic of analingus has been blowing up. Jhene Aiko swiftly followed suit with the trend, singing the line “But he gotta eat the booty like groceries,” on Omarion’s Post To Be. It would seem that in 2015, licking buttholes has become, dare we say it… mainstream? 

So what’s the best way to get your b-hole eaten? Let’s start with rule number one, which is arguably the most important.

1. Clean that s#!t

I mean literally… clean the s#!t off of your butthole. Look, I don’t want to be crass, but there really isn’t any other way to say this. Before anyone does any sort of salad tossing, you need to wash the lettuce. So, if you know that it’s going to go down like that, wash up in the bathroom beforehand. If you’re on the go, keep some wet wipes with you and at least give your b-hole a mini shower prior to any licking, and honestly, any anal play.

2. Keep it trimmed 

Butt hair is a thing, and while it is more sparse than pubic hair, it is definitely there and can definitely get in the way. If your partner, or you, don’t mind running into it with their tongues, then you can for go hair removal, but I am going to go out on a limb and assume that they probably do mind. Then again, they are literally licking your @$$hole, what’s a little hair matter in light of that?

3. Try dental dams

As I write this, I know that you will probably not actually do it, and suggesting it is futile. And yet, I am going to advise you to do it anyway because it is the right thing to do. If you want to protect yourself 100% from spreading bacteria or even STIs, dental dams provide a protective layer. This could also work if your partner is very reluctant about licking your b-hole because they are grossed out by the idea putting their tongue on the part of you where your poop comes out. But I can’t promise it will actually feel pleasurable for the person on the receiving end.

4. Try doing this while 69ing

This way, both of you are happy.

5. Use your hands

While your partner or you are eating the proverbial groceries, try rubbing and stroking the cheeks at the same time. If you’re really talented at multitasking try going all out with a butt massage. This will be much appreciated.

6. Switch your tongue patterns

Just like with eating pu$$y, variation in the movement patterns will make this entire experience a lot more interesting and pleasurable. Try circular movements first, then linear movements.

And there you have it. You may now eat as much booty as you like.

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