What College Girls Say About Their Boyfriends vs. What They Mean
We’ve all had that one friend with a shitty boyfriend/fuck-buddy/bae. Being the caring friend that we are, we absolutely hate seeing our best girlfriend with a shitty dude that doesn’t treat her right. So naturally, we shit on him constantly. So much, that there becomes a point when she starts actually lying to us about him so that we won’t judge him so hard.
This phenomenon probably happens the most with college girls. I mean, let’s be real, if we were looking for the worst, least loyal, brokest, and most clueless/apathetic dudes, we would find them on college campuses. College dudes are just “not looking for a girlfriend,” and try to “slay as many bitches” as possible. Their idea of chivalry is buying you a drink on dollar-beer night and walking you home (where they expect to be invited in).
If your girlfriend has a college boo that seems like he’s the best boyfriend ever and you’re wondering where you can find one? Don’t. Because he might not be quite as phenomenal as she says he is…
What She Says: “He Always Takes Me Out To Eat.”
The Reality: He bought a pizza one night after the bar and let her have a slice.
What She Says: “He Pays For Me All The Time.”
The Reality: He offers to pay sometimes, but only because she offers to pay every other time. After all, he usually bitches about it afterwards.
What She Says: “I Can’t Go Out Tonight, I’m So Tired!”
The Reality: Her boyfriend is way too jealous of her going to a frat party without him, and begged her to stay in.
What She Says: “The Sex is Amazing!”
The Reality: When he doesn’t have whiskey dick, she almost cums. But it’s okay, she’s never had a real orgasm anyways.
What She Says: “His Frat Is, Like, The Party Frat”
The Reality: His frat is known as the dudes who prey on freshmen and roofie drinks.
What She Says: His Friends Love Me! They’re So Nice!
The Reality: They consistently ask her to bring around her “hot friends” so they can “smash.”
What She Says: He’s Like, In Love With Me, He Won’t Leave Me Alone.
The Reality: He hasn’t responded to her last five “?” texts and she’s about to go to the bar he said he was at and search for him.