7 Ways Boys Kill Their Sexting Game
Sexting is the new black. Whether you’re sending naughty snap videos from the bathroom at work, or sending dirty fantasies via iMessage on the subway, you’re probably doing it. Hell, everyone is doing it. And with the way our lives are getting busier and busier, there’s no reason that we aren’t entitled to a little technological hand job every once in a while. However, where there is good sexting, there is also very bad sexting. We all know how fast our lady-boners die when one of these things happen…
1. Making Sad, Sad Typos
I get it, you might be in a frenzy while trying to send a dirty message and wank yourself off at the same time, life is hard and typos happen. But, if you make a typo, fix it immediately. Nothing kills the mood like saying “I want to duck you so bad” or “I’m so net right now.” What’s even worse than obvious typos like these? When a guy uses the wrong form of “your” or “there.” Hello?! I know this is a text message and not your thesis paper, but it’d be nice to know that we’re sleeping with a guy that knows proper English. Don’t tell me “Your such a naughty girl,” tell me “You’re such a naughty girl.” Get it? Got it? Good.
2. Unprecedented Dick Pics
Sure, sometimes it’s fun to get a guy to send a pic of his cock, especially if we’re sending some explicit selfies back. However, what guys don’t realize is that we don’t wake up yearning for a close-up of his junk in the morning, and I don’t think we ever will. Personally, I prefer a guy shirtless and showing off his abs rather than pants-less and showing off his balls. Regardless, nothing is quite unsettling like unlocking your iPhone to find a fleshy one eyed monster staring back at you (especially if you’re not the only one looking at your phone).
3. Eager Beavers
Nothing, and I repeat nothing, is worse than a dude who asks for pics within the first week of meeting him. Like, really? Log yourself on to Facebook and check out some bikini pics from my last spring break or something. If you do respond to this loser and explain that you’re not about that life, he’ll probably text back something about how he “just wanted a picture of your pretty face.” I revert back to my previous statement, check out Instagram next time.
Even if you’ve been seeing a guy for a long time, and you frequently engage in sexting, he still needs to realize that he’s lucky. While it’s flattering to have a guy begging for a pic of your tits all day (I guess?), it gets old when he starts demanding pics as if you owe them to him. Unless he’s sending you snap-cash for each selfie your sending him, he needs to get his sh*t together and realize he’s lucky you’re sleeping with him in the first place.
5. Less Than Scenic Backdrops
Unlike guys who will block out the rest of an image once they see some big boobs, girls don’t. If the background of your mirror-pic shows dirty pizza boxes on your floor, pee in your toilet, or even worse—your friends in the background, we are sure as hell going to notice. Just as if you would clean your room before a girl comes over, do us some justice and try to hide the fact that you’re a slob while sending us pics of your cock.
If you don’t have a way with words, maybe just don’t sext. We get that you want to “f*ck us hard,” and we got that the first five times you said it. Get some new material, or just keep sending us pics of your banging body instead (you can’t always have brains and bod).
If we wanted you to save the pic of us half-naked to your phone, we wouldn’t have sent it via-snapchat. Screen-shotting just ruins the entire point of snapchat, not to mention the fact that we know you did it! Screen-shotting is a sure way to get you excluded from ever receiving a sext (or even just plain old sex) ever again.