Why Waka Flocka Flame Would Make A GREAT President
Alright, I know everyone is probably laughing at the fact that Waka Flocka is running for president. I mean c’mon, this is the dude made famous for his hit “No Hands.” But, in reality, we need to take a step back and consider Flocka’s platform. I mean, legalized weed is certainly a noble place to start…
1. Legalized Weed
California and Colorado have sent the trend, with multiple states reducing penalties and allowing medicinal use of the drug. It’s been proven that legalizing the drug can seriously help our economy, and once it’s legalized everywhere, it can be regulated better, right?
2. Banned Dogs In Restaurants
I’m once again going to be hated by the masses of dog lovers, but I don’t want your dog barking and slobbering in my face while I’m trying to enjoy a nice meal (and paying for it). Not sure what dogs ever did to Waka, but I’m sure he clearly understands.
3. Restrictions on the Big Footed
Because size 11 bitches like Paris Hilton obviously need to be stopped. Especially when they step on your feet in the club!
4. He Knows Hilary is Serious Competition
He says that “women love her and her husband’s Bill,” so he knows that Hilary is some stiff competition for the race. I can imagine so, especially when in reference to women’s rights, he remarked “I feel like women got all the rights already, man, what else do they want?” Yes Waka, that’s certainly going to get you all the female votes!
5. His Political Announcements Would Be Bomb
Can you imagine if every time Waka was addressing the public, his signature “WAKA” chant played in the background? Legendary.
6. Everyone Will Know His Lyrics
In terms of educational reforms, he wants every student to study his lyrics. Can you imagine how much of a better place our country will be if there are elementary school students running around chanting “round of applause, baby make that ass clap?”
While his platform is pretty impressive, unfortunately Waka is only 28 years old, and ineligible to run for the U.S. presidency. We wonder if he will be voting, considering in response to a 2010 interview question about voting, he answered “Voting cool, bruh, but I don’t really know much about it, but it’s cool.”