Viva La Britney!
SOMEONE GET ME A VENTILATOR. ASAP. Britney f’n Spears, aka Godney to her #BritneyArmy, is about to add “Queen of Sin City” to her resume. After weeks and weeks of dizzying rumors — and many lonely nights which involved me praying/meditating to Britney ballad, “Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know” — Brit Brit is officially CONFIRMED for a Las Vegas residency surely to involve sparkly midriffs, pelvic thrusts and an amazing tour rider including cheese grits and unlimited fraps. Get it, get it, Brit! Which means a few things, like this warning: Cher, Celine, and you too, Siegfried & Roy, hold onto ya wigs! Anyway, I’d like to suggest naming the show “It’s Britney Bitch!”… just because. Another mess dancing around in my broken brain like a Britney hair-whipping-heavy routine is this: OMG WHAT IS SHE GOING TO WEAR? Probably not much, if we’re basing this off of the Britney costume norm. I dunno about y’all, but I can feel the Holy Spearit in the air. As a result, I am on a “Sexy Britney Photo Shoot” Google image binge, which, of course, includes salacious photography from our girl, Ellen von Unwerth, as well as Rankin and David LaChapelle. In short, I’d like to share my ferocious finds with y’all. You’re welcome.