Why It’s Completely Acceptable To Unfollow Your Ex On Social Media (You Should)
The first time I blocked someone on Facebook was after my first “real” relationship. I was 16, me and my boyfriend of nearly a year had broken up, and he wasn’t too pleased with my recent Facebook posts. Being the annoying teenager that I was, after our break-up I essentially went to as many parties as possible and posted pictures with as many random dudes as possible. The result was my ex messaging me saying how he “doesn’t want to see pictures of me with random dudes all over his Facebook newsfeed” (or something like that, Sorry Matt). My response was to block my ex from viewing my Facebook photos, which in turn only got him more pissed off, but which left me feeling pretty pleased with myself.
The first time someone blocked me on Facebook (to my knowledge) was when I was 20 years old. My on-again-off-again college boyfriend (or were we just “talking?”) broke up– and it was ugly. After a drunken screaming match which ended in me scaring him out of his own apartment with my stiletto heels, we quickly ceased communicating with each other, and I went home for Thanksgiving break single as fuck. As I went to my ex’s profile to show my sister the video of me from when I went on Jerry Springer, I realized that I couldn’t find my ex on Facebook. I wasn’t naive enough to think that he deleted his profile, I knew that he had just deleted me. Was I offended? Not really. My cocky ass figured that he couldn’t handle being bored on Thanksgiving break and stalking me, so he had to block me instead.
That Summer, I met a guy at Trader Joe’s who I had a “summer fling” with for a few months. After we decided we should stop seeing each other, I realized there was no reason for me to follow him on Instagram anymore. It wasn’t because he broke my heart, or that I didn’t want to see him with other girls, it was simply because he had no relevance to my life anymore.
When you’re in high school, or even college: you’re young, bored, and catty. Your boyfriend (or ex boyfriend) is probably somewhat in your social circle, you’ll probably occasionally run into him, you might even have to remain “friends.” But, once you get older, potential boyfriend’s enter your life for one reason: to be your boyfriend (or to at least give you an orgasm). Once you cross him out as someone you’ll never have a future with, you’re only doing yourself a disservice by continuing to keep tabs on his life.
This may seem unnatural to you, in fact it probably does. After all, as a society we follow people whom we don’t even personally know. You knew Kim Kardashian’s baby’s name before you knew your own sister was pregnant, you follow Bella Hadid and The Weeknd’s relationship more closely than your own relationship. If you’re paying so much attention to these strangers who we deem “celebrities,” why wouldn’t you want to pay attention to the guys who may or may not have had their dicks inside you?
But, the thing is, keeping tabs on an ex lover is only wasting your time and making you upset over things that don’t matter. Remember Cameron, that dude who you went on three dates with and then never heard from again? You haven’t thought about him since last February, but when you suddenly see him post a #womancrushwednesday with a chick who must be his new girlfriend, you’re suddenly pissed. You think to yourself, “I could’ve been that girl if he had just called me back. I mean, look at her sequined uggs, what kind of loser is she anyways?” 30 minutes later, after you’ve stalked her Instagram back to 74 weeks ago, you realize that you’re not going to make it to your spin class tonight.
Instead of obsessing over the guys who once held our hearts (or tits), why can’t we focus on the constant presence in our lives, ourselves? Instead of comparing our lives to our ex’s, why can’t we simply focus on bettering our own life, regardless of what anyone else is doing? While it can be beneficial to look back on past relationships and learn from our mistakes, following your ex via cyberstalking and looking into his future without you can make you go crazy.
If you feel lame officially “blocking” said dude on Facebook, feel free to hide his posts from your feed (you can do the same thing on Twitter). If you’re really worried about him noticing that you’re not following him on Instagram? Take a chill pill and realize that most guys really don’t give a shit about social media.
Rather than laughing at your ex’s new attempt at growing a beard, or crying at his new post captioned “love how cute my bae looks when she’s sleeping,” why don’t you get emotional over someone who’s still a part of your life?
Photo via Huffington Post