Ask Tinderella: Why Did He Stop Writing Love Poems

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Dear Tinderella,

First of all, I love your blog! I’ve read every single one of your posts and am just in love with your humor!

Here’s the story: I’m new to London (and England in general) and thought Tinder was a good idea to find out what the men here are like! I have quite a few matches TBH but I’ve never actually met one of them, mostly because I was just a bit too scared that I’m not as good looking as on my pictures… don’t get me wrong I’m not a witch or anything, but still.

I want to tell you about a guy who you might call ‘The Poem Tinder’. We matched 2 weeks ago and the first message he sent me was a cheesy poem that included my name. I actually didn’t believe he rhymed that himself. We kept texting and he seemed really nice, actually. Most guys on Tinder don’t seem really interested in what I do or how my day has been but he really tried to make an effort. 

He sent me another poem saying he’s afraid of boring me and that he will send me one self-written poem for 7 days so I will go out with him. I didn’t really take it seriously and thought that might be his way to meet all the girls, if you know what I mean. But he really did send me a poem every night shortly before midnight. They couldn’t have been looked up on the internet or sent to other girls too because they included exactly what I did in my job or how my day was, where I’ve been etc.

But on the seventh night, I didn’t get anything. No poem, no text, nothing. It’s been two days and still not a word! I thought ‘Hey, maybe he died or something!’ but he’s online on whatsapp all the time. So me and my friend ended up on her sofa drinking cheap Rosé and singing ‘All by Myself‘ by Celine Dion feeling like Bridget Jones (she got dumped by some model, of course they met on Tinder as well!). Feeling like Bridget is shit.

I just don’t get it: why would you make such an effort for one bloody date and then simply stop talking to that person?

Lots of Love from London

Xxx

Hey there… sorry to hear that you’ve been ‘ghosted’ as they say (apparently). I agree that it’s totally weird for him to have put in so much effort all week to then just disappear. My gut says that this isn’t the last you’ve heard from this guy so just sit tight and I’m sure he’ll reach out for that date soon.

Assuming that he does reach out in a few days, or even a few weeks, I’d advise you wait awhile – a day or so – before responding.

Play him at his own game! But don’t pry too much into why he may have gone cold… you didn’t even notice, you were so busy dating gorgeous men (/drinking wine and singing to Celine Dion).

If you DON’T hear anything then you may as well just assume that he’s dead. There are a million different reasons why he may have gone quiet but when you really think about it – does it even matter what those reasons are? If he’s disappeared then there’s no love lost… he’s still a stranger at this point and there are many other men on Tinder who will take you out and perhaps even write you poetry… if that’s your thing.

Hope this is helpful and that he gets it together for you!

Tinderella xx

P.S. Don’t say that you are not as pretty as your pictures… you ARE the picture. Own it!

Do you have a dating question for Tinderella? Email your questions to [email protected] with the subject ‘Dating Advice’.

www.tinderellanyc.com

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