Ask Tinderella: How Do I Bring Up My Seizure Disorder?
I, like you, have recently gotten out of a long-term relationship with my ex-boyfriend. After my relationship was sour for a long time, I decided it was time to end it and I am just now putting myself back into the dating pool via Tinder (because hey, why not?). However, I have only tiny problem/fear that is always in the back of my mind. I have a seizure disorder.
Now, my seizures aren’t exactly what you imagine when I say “seizure,” instead it looks like I’m falling asleep because my head falls over and my eyes partially close (no convulsing.) Anyway, I have yet to actually meet with anyone because I’m not sure what to say to a stranger. Normally, I just tell my friends I’m about to have a seizure and they leave me alone for 5 or so minutes (I do not need medical attention). But when I am with someone I just met and I feel one coming…do I just excuse myself for an awkward period of time (5-15min)? Have a premeditated excuse? Tell them?
I just don’t want to freak people I don’t know out unnecessarily. My seizures are actually really common and not dangerous, just REALLY annoying.
Hey Anonymous Girl – I’m trying to imagine what that must be like and I’m sorry you have to go through this so regularly, it sounds incredibly aggravating… but it’s definitely NOT debilitating to your dating life. If someone on Tinder told me that they had your condition I can tell you with complete honesty that it would do nothing more than pique my interest about their life. I would also have huge respect for the challenges they must face daily.
I’m sure that any person reading this would feel the same way (and if you wouldn’t then you are not my people) – it just wouldn’t be a big issue.
My advice is that you tell the guy before you meet but after a date has been set. You have nothing to lose at this point because if he goes cold on you then he was clearly a jerk and not good enough anyway!
The only reason I say don’t wait until the actual date is that if a seizure came on while you were with your date before you had had a chance to tell him about your condition, it could be very scary for him and he might end up calling an ambulance, which you say you don’t need. You don’t say where you live but in America an ambulance coming to the rescue (necessary or unnecessary) can cost thousands of dollars. But I agree that in most situations, when you have something ‘big’ to tell your date, it’s better done in person.
I think that when somebody is right for you, they will accept you for all the things that make you unique. Don’t forget that Tinderellas call the shots, so use Tinder to help you find someone who is good enough for you – never the other way around.
Do you have a dating question for Tinderella? Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org? with the subject ‘Dating Advice’.