This Will Make You Feel Better About Everybody Getting Engaged


Am I the only one who has felt like social media has been a minefield of engagement announcements this summer? Maybe it’s because I’m getting “old” (21?) or that I have too many Facebook friends, or maybe people are just in a big rush to get their green cards. Either way, if I had a dollar for every engagement status I’ve seen on Facebook this summer, maybe I would have enough money to buy myself a boyfriend.

There are two types of reactions to someone getting engaged:

1. “Oh My God! That’s so adorable! I hope my future husband proposes to me like that. Wait…let me add that to my wedding themed Pinterest board before I forget!”

2. “Aren’t they too young to be getting engaged? I feel like they haven’t even been dating that long…they probably won’t last. That ring looks like sh*t anyways.”

It’s easy to be a relationship hater, especially when you’re single yourself. It’s also easy to look down upon those that are deciding to get hitched at such a young age, especially when the divorce rate is at an all time high. However, nobody wants a Bridesmaids type situation either. If you think your friend is going to keep you around when you’re making snide comments about her relationship all the time, you’re wrong.

Luckily, the internet gives us plenty of bride-to-bes and future husbands to talk sh*t on. Case in point; this poor guy who thought it’d be cute to take his chick to hibachi and write their initials out in rice:


A for effort dude, but I have a feeling his girl isn’t going to give him anal anytime soon. Maybe if he had taken her to an American restaurant this wouldn’t have happened, or maybe the chef knew exactly what he was doing and got a laugh out of it. Not to mention that this hibachi place doesn’t look like the ideal marriage proposal setting anyways. I mean c’mon, I know fraternities that have formals at hibachi restaurants. Maybe he wasn’t proposing at all, and was really just trying to convince his beloved girlfriend to let him stick it in her butt? Either way, thank you, anonymous butt-stuff couple, for giving single people like me someone to poke fun at while we pretend we’re happy for our friends that are seeing through rose colored glasses.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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