This New Technology Can Measure Your Dude’s Thrusting

Has a dude ever been bold enough to ask you if he’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

If he has, he’s probably one cocky motherf*cker… but in reality, how does one measure the best sex they’ve ever had, like I mean in their entire life? Don’t tell me you can accurately recall the  experimental sex you and your high-school boyfriend as well as you can recall the drunken f*ck-fest you and your last conquest had last Saturday night.

Regardless, there may be new technology to alleviate this problem (or at least, attempt to). Crowdfunding is currently being done for “The Lovely.” The shape and design are similar to a cock-ring (you know, like those vibrating ones that you make your dude wear so you can have killer orgasms), but it measures a dude’s speed, g-force, and even his calories burned. The gadget also supposedly can measure a chick’s orgasms (so if you’ve been faking it…although you shouldn’t be, you might be screwed).


The Lovely connects to a corresponding app, which offers “helpful hints” for your next bone-session. While this sounds promising, I am still wary of how a little wannabe cock-ring can tell my dude how to please me. Besides, how comfortable is a guy gonna be with that around his dick?

Regardless, if the crowd-funding goes to planned, the gadget will be sold for $169.

Sounds like a lot of fun, and probably the perfect gift for your dude who thinks he’s hot sh*t after he gave you one orgasm. An even better idea? Connecting The Lovely’s findings to Lulu, the app where chick’s rate guys…

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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