This Is What You Need To Know About Your First Love
1. He Was Your First, Not Your Last
There’s a reason they call it your first love, not your only love– because there will be another, and another, and who even knows how many people you will love a little bit before settling down with your special person? Sometimes the end of your first love can feel like the end of the world. You don’t understand how you went on without that person before you first met, and you don’t understand how you will go on without them. The thing is, you did survive without them before, and you will again, you just have to keep moving.
2. You’re Forever Going To Compare All Your Future Loves To Him
You never want to be that girl who is still talking about her ex-boyfriend years down the road. Unfortunately, sometimes that can be tough. When you spend so much time with somebody, they obviously hold a place in many of your stories and memories. The hardest part of saying goodbye to your first love is that you’re always going to compare your future loves to him. Maybe you’ll end up chasing after guys that remind you of him, or maybe you’ll turn to guys who are the complete opposite of him. Either way, you’re going to compare everything your new guy does, to everything your ex did. If he likes to leave the TV on when he goes to sleep, you’re going to remember how your ex always remembered to turn it off. If he texts you goodnight when you’re apart, you’re going to remember how your ex always made sure to wish you “sweet dreams.” This doesn’t mean that you’re not over your first love, but we are only human, we relate new experiences to what we know. Your first love will always be the standard for your future loves, for better or for worse.
3. He’ll Always Hold a Place In Your Heart
Similar to how he’ll always have a small place in your head, he will always have a place in your heart. No matter how horrible things ended between you two (or even if you still remain friends), you’ll always have that little voice in your head that wonders, “what if things had been different?” If he asks you for a favor, you’ll probably help him out. Anytime you see him with a new girlfriend, it will probably hurt a little bit, and that’s okay.
4. Your Memories Are Different Than Reality
If you find yourself traveling too far down memory lane in your head (this generally happens after consuming copious amounts of wine), you need to remember that the human brain changes memories. The more times you “remember” something, the more your memory changes into what you want to remember. You may find yourself missing what you had with your ex, but this is partly because you’re remembering the good times rather than the bad.
5. It Ended For a Reason
Although it can be painful realizing that the first person who stole you’re heart is not the one you’re going to end up with, every new relationship is a lesson, and every old relationship came to an end for a reason. Instead of spending your time thinking about what went wrong; accept it, learn from it, and you will be a better lover (and person) for the future.