This Is What Happens When He Says “We Have To Talk”

Our generation is socially challenged. Instead of booty-calling, we booty-snapchat. Instead of telling someone we’re breaking up with them, we change our Facebook relationship status to single. Rather than explaining to someone that we’re not into them, we ignore their texts until they get the hint.

Even when we do want to finally have a real conversation, we can’t seem to do just that. Instead, we have to “warn” that person. Rather than sitting down with someone and spitting out what we need to say, we text them 24 hours in advance, letting them know that “we need to talk.”

Granted, I could understand this method if it was someone that we didn’t talk to that often. If my ex who I haven’t spoken to in years wanted to talk to me, it would make sense for him to text me asking to sit down and talk. But if my current boo thang who I see almost every night feels the need to text me in advance? I don’t really see the point. After all, we all know that one of the worst text messages to receive is someone saying “I have to ask you something” or “Can we talk about something later tonight?”

As girls, or maybe just as me, we go through a rollercoaster of emotions.

Is he breaking up with me? Or wait– we’re not even together, so he can’t break up with me. Is he telling me he doesn’t want to “see” me anymore? Is he going to ask me about that one time I got drunk at the homecoming football game and flashed the entire marching band? Did some bitch spread some nasty rumor about me? Did he go through my text messages and see something he shouldn’t have? Wait, no, talks don’t always have to be a bad thing, right? Maybe he wants to tell me that he’s finally ready to be a big boy and define our relationship? Maybe he wants to apologize for stringing me along for so long without an official title? Maybe he’s going to profess his undying love for me…and have rose petals leading up the stairs to his room!? No, why am I getting my hopes up, he’s just a clueless boy like the rest of them. He’s probably asking me if he can give me a facial or fuck me without a condom. It’s definitely something stupid that only boys would make a big deal about. Maybe he wants to have a threesome with my and my roommate? Oh well, whatever, no use over-thinking it. I’ll just go about my business for today…He’s totally going to end things, isn’t he?!

Girls certainly do this whole “warning you that I’m going to talk about something serious for once” thing too. It’s just that boys don’t seem to overthink quite as much as we ladies do. But the thing is, “warning” someone that you’re going to talk to them isn’t doing them a favor, it’s freaking them the fuck out. If you’re dating someone with bad anxiety, you might ruin their whole damn week. Moreover, you might make your partner overthink so much, that they create problems that don’t even exist. Instead of maliciously fucking your partner up in the head so that he/she knows that something is wrong (or right) all day, come right out and say it. Not only will it help your partner not go crazy, it’ll give them the chance to actually say what they feel in the moment rather than having all day to mull over it.

All images courtesy of Huffington Post

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