How To Know If He Really Likes You (Or Not)

There are way too many listicles on the internet. It’s nearly impossible to open up Facebook without seeing one shared article entitled “10 Reasons You Need To Date a Girl Who Has Brown Eyes” or “18 Things You Always Say To Your BFF After a Night Out.” There are also lots of writers (like me) who like to pretend that they have the world of romance in the palm of their hand. Isn’t it ironic that us writers can sit in our beds in our hello kitty pajama pants and type up love advice for strangers when we really have no clue what’s going on in our own love life? Like shit, that dude writing the article about “how to pleasure your girl ” may have not gotten laid since 2004 and you would never know.

A certain variety of article that seems to pop up on social media constantly is articles about how to tell if a guy (or girl) is into you, and I completely understand why. Our generation doesn’t “do” feelings. We do have feelings, we just pretend that we don’t. Instead of calling a guy and saying “it was really nice to meet you last night” we wait 10 days, drunkenly snapchat him, and hope for the best. Streaking through a field at a music festival is no biggie, but the thought of actually telling someone we care about them brings shivers down our spine.

So naturally, because the person we are interested in will probably never actually tell us that he’s interested in us, we turn to the internet. Because someone has to have an answer, right? We’ll just take a quick look at the “9 Signs He’s Fallen For You” and figure out if our new love interest is worth our time. And look at that, number six says that if he drunk-dials you, that he’s fallen for you! How wonderful!

No, no it’s not wonderful. Why? Because you can’t trust someone on Elite Daily to tell you who to invest your time in. How do I know this? Because I know people that write for Elite Daily, and they are just as clueless about relationships about the rest of us (myself included). As lovely as it would be to find a checklist to tell you if your current crush wants you back, it’s nearly equivalent to plucking petals off of a flower and saying “he loves me, he loves me not.”

I can’t tell you if your current cuddle-buddy wants to be your boyfriend, because I don’t know you and I certainly don’t know your cuddle buddy. Maybe the fact that he hooks up with you soberly is a really huge deal for him and it’s because he really likes you and doesn’t need drugs to feel comfortable around you. But maybe he hooks up with you soberly because he can’t perform  when he’s wasted. Maybe the fact that he texts you every day means that he cares about how your day is going, or maybe it’s because he knows that more texts lead to more hook ups.

Just like girls, guys are complicated. Guys can also be very deceiving when they are trying to get what they want (which is usually hooking up), and nonchalant when it comes to expressing themselves about feelings (unless they are drunk).

At the end of the day, if you really have to question if a guy cares for you, he probably doesn’t. And if he does care about you, he’ll find ways to show you. He may not have the balls to spell it out to you in conversation, but sometimes actions can speak louder than words anyways.

In the mean time, as much as I love reading (and writing) articles about the crazy world of hook ups and dating, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day I’m just as single and clueless as you are.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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