9 Things We Desperately Miss About Myspace
Ah, Myspace. Just typing the word brings me back to countless photoshoots in front of my parents’ fan for the perfect default picture, shifting my top 8 every time I got a new “boyfriend,” and perfecting the perfect playlist to say “I’m badass, but still emotional deep down.” Unfortunately, just like silly bandz, Myspace blew up quick and went out fast, but sometimes Facebook just doesn’t give us that same comfort that Myspace did all those years ago, and we would like to commemorate Myspace for all the good times.
1. Lots of selfie practice
If you were like me and my friends in middle school, every moment was an opportunity for myspace pics. After school hang out? Let’s go on your neighbor’s playground and make seductive-cute poses on the slide! Chilling in my basement? Let’s show how funny and playful we are by taking pics messing around with my old dress-up stuff! Let’s not forget the selfies with our cameras that didn’t have anything near a front-facing camera, make sure your arm is not getting in the way of my glossy lips!
2. The ability to broadcast your music taste
Your crush wore a Blink 182 shirt to school yesterday? You make sure to add “Feeling This” to your Myspace playlist, pronto. While maintaining a personal playlist for your page might have been a lot of work, and annoying to anyone viewing your page with the sound on, you have to admit it was kind of fun. How are we supposed to let our crush know we like the same bands as him now, huh? The lyric quote under a selfie thing is a little basic, and no one appreciates someone who shares music on FB every two second either. *sigh*
3. The Top 8
The only thing easier than giving the silent treatment to your BFF is moving them in your Top 8, she’ll know you heard her talking shit about your Abercrombie tank top immediately. In a way, this was basically the Myspace equivalent of the Facebook relationship request, if you got a boyfriend, you immediately moved him to number one- obvi! This left me with lots of bitter friends… and constant rearranging of the sacred Top 8.
4. Sophisticated Artwork
When you finished your stupid Biology homework, the rest of your night was spent finding the perfect art for your page. Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard? Or are you “Forever Alone”? Whatever it is, nothing can express it better than some glitter and clipart! Now we’re mostly stuck with boring texts and pictures.. nothing in between 🙁
5. Confidence Boosts Err’day
While Instagram itself is a great confidence boost for any chick willing to take a few selfies with her tits hanging out of her shirt, what about Myspace comments? pc4pc anyone? While people still comment on Facebook photos, most are apt to throw a quick and painless “like.” Back in the Myspace days, this was not an option. If you liked a chick’s picture, you had to let her know through words, unless you were gonna just stick to “<3”. Popular comments include “hottie,” “add me,” and “U R a QT.”
6. Expressing your artistic creativity
We were obviously all profound and deep 13 year olds, and what better way to delve into those depths than on Myspace? Whether posting our poems, creatively editing our profile pictures, or even posting your own music (I guess this was before white rappers?), Myspace was basically a hub of artistic brilliance.
7. Quizzes that you lied on every time
Now that I’m reflecting, I really think Myspace should get credit for all the trends they began. We may be all about quizzes via Buzzed now, but those old school ones that you copy and pasted from one of your random friends bulletin took some effort. What about those rainy days when your friends weren’t posting anything?! And then you had to go through all your friends Top 8s and find strangers who were highly active on Myspace. When you did do these quizzes, you obviously made yourself sound as cool as possible. Put an “x” next to everything you’ve done? Well I guess that one time I swam naked at age 4 counts as skinny dipping, right? Check!
8. Bios that we spent hours perfecting
Thank God that we are not expected to have a bio on Facebook or Instagram anymore… like, who really wants to describe themselves in a tiny text box? I vaguely remember my profile involving some statement about how you’ll “never see me with my hair up or my nails un-painted.” Oh, okay, so in 7th grade I apparently didn’t put my hair up for gym class and had endless hours to do my nails… sounds about right.
9. Having everything in one place
Sure, variety is great, and so is having multiple internet personalities. But, don’t you miss the days when Myspace was your go-to source for social media? Maybe you used other sites in the Myspace days, like dressing up dolls… but when you wanted to stalk your crush there was one spot to check and one spot only, although unfortunately at that age most guys posted one picture of themselves and called it a day.