These Girls’ Lives Got 10x Better Because They Gave Up Dating
Dating is kind of like Chipotle. When it’s good, it’s amazing. When it’s bad, you’re left feeling sick and shitty, regretting everything, and swearing to never do it again.
But saying you’re deleting Tinder or going on a dating hiatus is easier said than done. After all, attention and free drinks can be lit sometimes.
But sometimes, you’ve had one too many heartbreaks, or you’re just sick of wasting time on dumbasses when you hardly have enough time for yourself, so you just stop playing the dating game altogether. And you quickly realize how awesome it is.
At least, these girls did.
Reddit user fillibustra asked the fellow ladies of Reddit, “ladies who don’t date, what’s the best thing about it?”
Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of awesome things that happen once you stop getting dickstracted.
“I really do like having that extra time to dedicate to my own life: my friendships, my interests, my hobbies,” said Reddit user biallmeansnecessary. She continued:
“I’m 20 and I have never dated, and I don’t plan to for a long while, and I don’t regret it one bit so far. I see many women my age having so much of their lives being about a guy (my sister for example hangs out more with her bf’s friends than her own) and I don’t think I could be happy that way. My life should be worth living by itself, not only if it’s attached to someone else’s.”
Preach, girl! Your 20s are all about figuring out WTF you want to do with your life, not wasting time on some finance bro who ghosts after six years when he realizes he doesn’t want to move in together.
In fact, guys who don’t know what they want in a relationship are a big reason to avoid dating young guys altogether.
Reddit user AtTheEolian says the best thing about not dating is “not having to spend emotional energy on men who aren’t doing their own emotional labor [and] not having to be on guard against the kind of fucked-up internalized sexism even a lot of liberated men end up exhibiting in relationships.”
Isn’t it fab when you think you find a great guy only to hear him say that didn’t vote for Hillary because he just “didn’t like” her?
In fact, it’s a lot easier dating yourself, and there’s way less drama.
“I had gone through a string of horrible guys and was just fed up so I made a conscious decision to stop dating guys and focus on me,” said Reddit user bullwinkle394. “I take myself on ‘dates’ — go see movies I want to see, explore new areas of my town, take myself to lunch, spend time focused on my own projects — and I’m already so much happier after just a couple months of that. If the right person came along I wouldn’t be opposed to dating, but it’s so nice to just do my own thing and live for myself.”
Another awesome thing about being solo dolo? You’ll never let your happiness depend on someone else. Or, not for the most part, anyways.
“[The best thing about not dating is] not having constant disappointments,” said Reddit user warriortah. “This is probably colored by the fact my last BF was not a good one…I decided to not date for a while after it ended and it’s so wonderful that all those problems and drama just evaporated and I never have to worry about them again! All my energy can go into my life. My baseline emotion became happy, instead of slightly melancholy, and everything has improved because of it.”
You go girl. Another emotionally benefit is that if you’re someone who suffers from anxiety (and who doesn’t these days?) you’ll likely have a big weight lifted off your shoulders.
“[The best thing about not dating is having] way less anxiety,” said Reddit user Restingbface91. “Will he text me? Is he only interested in me for sex?(this one is a biggie for me cause I’ve had issues with it before) Do I like him more than he likes me?”
But the best thing about not dating? You can start doing things 100% for you without worrying about what anyone — whether it be your boyfriend or that cute guy at work — thinks about it. Shave your head! Wear a giant dress that makes you look like a potato! Get embarrassingly lit and dance like a deranged mime!
Honestly, anything a partner can do for you, you can do for yourself. And before you start asking, yes, invest in a dildo.