These Boys Tried To Booty Call Using Food…

Girls are getting smarter, and boys consequently have to get more creative when trying to get laid. Instead of texting the casual “you up?” or “wanna cuddle,” guys have to account for the fact that this chick could be receiving booty call texts from a plethora of other guys. So, how does he make sure that his dick is the one that gets sucked tonight?

There’s certainly no scientific evidence backing this theory, but I decided that guys were more likely to get laid if they bought chicks food post-bar/club instead of a drink at the actual bar, so I wrote an article on it. While I probably haven’t started a movement, I think some guys did take the words to heart (or they just know that food is the way to my heart).

Please sit back and enjoy viewing these booty call texts that occurred after 2 am and always involved food:

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Okay…Maybe it’s just me, but the fact that he had to specifically say that it wasn’t a booty call, probably means that it was. Unfortunately for him, once a chick is in bed, it’s very unlikely that she’s getting up for dick or a burger.

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Obviously, there was no shame in admitting that I am always hungry (I mean I am…just not always for dick). Unfortunately, as I received this text I was already in the process of waiting for my mac and cheese to be ready…Whoever said that the early bird gets the worm wasn’t lying. Although in this case, it’s more like the early bird gets his nut.

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Now, this is the type of picture that probably 99% of chicks would prefer over a dick-pic. Unfortunately, there’s a certain point of alcoholism where you can’t really recognize a tiny little photo on your phone, be it a dick or a plate of chicken nuggets. In my defense, that picture was kind of blurry, and I think I had popped my fourth bottle of champagne at that point in the night. However, I must say that this attempt at getting me over to his place might have worked if I was less drunk and more hungry.

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I don’t think this snapchat really needs an explanation…but all I’ll say is that when you’re buying a bitch Chipotle, at least pretend you’re paying full price instead of admitting that you’re only taking her because you have a BOGO deal.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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