The Thin Line Between Sexy And Skanky: Dressing For Work And School

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There’s nothing worse than sitting behind a chick in class and seeing her crack trying to worm it’s way out of her too-tight jeans. Or being accosted by cleavage. It’s also very grodie when girls decide it’s cool to head to school in the exact same outfit they wore to the previous night’s frat party.

As we get closer to summer, there is fear in my heart over the amount of fat rolls we will be exposed to in tight, high-waisted shorts and crop tops. Loose dresses are made for that reason, so you can be comfy and stay cool! No fat-shame here, but everyone seems to want to look like 14 year old size-nothing Tumblr tweens, and I ain’t with it. Girl, put on some clothes that fit. We all have shit that we just shouldn’t wear, no matter how much we want to (even runway models, seriously). Besides most guys would rather see you in a tee shirt and yoga pants than any of the dumb shit we usually swarth our bodies with.

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The line between sexy and skanky has become blurred to the point that people think it’s a’okay to wear their tiniest crop tops to class and leggings to work. This shit never would have flown in the 60’s or in the 80’s, but as we are more and more desensitized to provocative images, online and in magazines (Playboy anyone?), girls wearing not much more than a bikini in professional settings has become par for the course. Everyone thinks they have to look f*ckable all the time. Save that shit for beach Sundays and raves: you don’t need to show every inch of skin when you’re sitting at your desk trying to be a career woman. 

It’s so important to love and be proud of your body, but there comes a point. You look in the mirror and it’s like a fun house: you don’t know how you look to others. People just don’t know (or won’t admit to themselves) what size they really are. You know the curvy babe who insists that she’s an extra small? News flash, wearing clothes that are a smaller size won’t actually make you a smaller size. If your skin cannot breathe in those jeans, you probably shouldn’t have squeezed into them in the first place.

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Being sexy comes from confidence, not from showing skin. You can’t be confident when you constantly have to pull your jeans up or re-adjust your boobs in that bra that doesn’t even fit (go to Victoria’s Secret and get your bra sized. You’ll thank me.)

I blame current trends. Crop tops can be appropriate for school, though it would be nice to see  a tasteful strip of belly and not your double belly-button piercing when I’m trying to memorize Chemistry formulas. Same with ripped jeans, which can be worn to a nice dinner with heels but definitely are not office attire. And for the love of Jesus, please burn every single pair of high-waisted shorts you have ever owned. Those are made for girls who have yet to hit puberty and look like a denim diaper on everyone with an ass. All this shit looks great in music videos, but in school and at work, not so much. 

It’s time to grow the f*ck up. I’m not trying to say everyone’s skirt needs to be a maximum of two inches above the knee, but this is bigger than your high school dress code. It’s about looking good and looking appropriate. And it’s never sexy to look slutty. It’s also never sexy to look like a plus size stripper on her lunch break. At the end of the day, you’re dressing for yourself, but you (and everyone around you) will be more comfortable if you just put on some damn clothes that fit.

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