Six Uncomfortable Moments In The Life Of A Girl With Social Anxiety

I read today that social anxiety leads to Facebook addiction. A new study by Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking reports that a constant need for reassurance paired with social anxiety causes people to excessively, problamatically check their social media outlets. I say, in the life of a socially anxious person, we’re so busy being humiliated by our own real life embarrassing behavior that we probably don’t have time to think about what everyone else is doing on Facebook.

For example, I walked in on someone in the bathroom in Coffee Bean today. A DUDE, taking a shit, pants around his ankles and talking on the phone at the same time. I gasped and slammed the door, my face burning and heart racing. I mean, it was his fault: why didn’t he lock the door? This is a public bathroom, bro! You just made life awkward for both of us. And even though I don’t walk in on dudes shitting in the bathroom every day, I have hundreds of teensey cringe inducing moments every moment I exist on this Earth. I’ll admit that I’m not clinically socially anxious, but my ingrained awkwardness gives me anxiety when I’m forced into social situations with people I don’t know. Here are 6 more things that are way more uncomfortable for me than they are for other people. Hopefully, you can relate, or this just got really awkward. 

Thinking

Your brain just isn’t wired for a pleasant moment of no thought. Whenever there are no thoughts in my brain, wheather I’m taking a pleasant walk to class or taking a shower, an extremely awkward memory from the day, or even something that happened weeks ago, springs to the forefront of my brain and I let out an involuntary moan of embarrassment. Falling down the stairs in front of a hot guy? Yup. Spilling cold brew all over a white tee shirt? Throw that one in there. Accidentally offending a good friend? Every day.

Instagram

Whenever you post a picture you check to make sure it looks good on your profile. If it passes the test of non-deletion (no one saw that, right?) you refresh the feed a hundred times to see how many likes you’re getting. Less than 11 double taps? Shameful. I’ll just like my own picture to seem more popular…..

Ordering Food

IF you can get your order out without stuttering, paying is a whole other ball game. Why does it take me so long to get my wallet out of my backpack? And so much longer to put it away? Should I just chuck my change in the bottom of my bag? Everyone behind me in the line must hate me. Then the cashier says “enjoy” and you say “you too!” Just keeps getting worse.

Going To Parties

You’re at a party with a friend and the place is jam packed, and you don’t recognize one single face. Some girls are so amazing and goddess like that all the hot strangers in the room automatically gravitate towards their mysterious-osity. You’re not like that: awkwardly nursing a red cup, standing on the outskirts of a group who are animatedly laughing at some joke you didn’t get. The absolute worst part? That feeling that your friend would have had a better time if she invited someone else.

Getting High

Socializing stoned is most likely the most difficult thing I face. Take this situation: Someone says “hi” to you. You say “hello” back and your brain starts ripping you a new one. “No one says hello! That is the weirdest greeting ever! Oh my God, why did I say that? I can’t think of anything to say now! Everyone is looking at me. What should I do? I’ll just check my phone. No, wait, that will make me seem insecure!” It never ends.

Having Sex

Even if you’re wifed up, sex can be SO AWKWARD. Like, if my boyfriend busts out a new move, I can’t stop thinking about where he learned that. He’s oblivious, and I can’t get back into it, because my mental train is going off the rails. Has he been watching porn? Did he sleep with someone else? Thankfully, there’s one phrase that will get you out of this situation: “I want you to cum all over me.” Saying it with a breathless moan, works every time.


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