The Reason Guys Run Away When Things Start To Get Serious (And Why I Do Too)
You’ve been there, I’ve been there, we’ve all f***ing been there.
You start talking to a guy; maybe you met through a mutual friend, or at the gym, or you woke up in his bed after too many tequila shots. You don’t think much of him at first, but then you start realizing that this dude really gets you. You guys have real conversations, you guys like the same things, and the chemistry is off the charts. Once he finally breaks you, and you think that you’re ready to give up your freedom for something more serious with this guy, he disappears.
Now, I don’t mean actually disappearing, like some missing persons shit, I mean suddenly he becomes disinterested.
It leaves us girls wondering, where did we go wrong? Was it something we said? Did he find someone better? Did I freak him out by moving too fast?
I’ve been in this exact same situation. And I’ve spent countless nights with girlfriends talking them through the same situation, and speculating on what it could be that keeps guys pulling this shit on us poor girls.
Then, I realized, that I do the exact same f***ing thing.
Maybe not to the extent of some douchebags that I know, I really do try to let guys know if I’m not interested in them early on. But I go on dates with guys that are good-looking, goal-oriented, athletic, and funny. And I’m into them…for a while. We go on a couple dates, say, 5, being the average number. We text throughout the days, we make a lot of plans, and then suddenly- one thing sets me off. Maybe he orders a girly drink at dinner, maybe he wears a shirt I don’t like; any little reason I can find to decide not to like him anymore.
I really hate that I do it, and I wish that I didn’t. But I realized why I do, it’s because I’m scared.
I’ve been burned just like everyone else has. I don’t fall for guys often, but when I do- I fall hard. And when someone can just turn that off like it was nothing? It changes you. Maybe I’m finding little flaws with every single guy I go out with because I’m afraid of finding someone that can hurt me again, maybe I’m comparing every single guy to the one that affected me so badly years ago.
Regardless of my own personal issues, you should know that if a guy seems perfect and then dips, it’s NOT something that you did wrong. It’s something that is wrong with him. As much as you want to be the nurturing female that you are and show him that love isn’t scary and that you aren’t like other girls, you’d just be wasting your time and driving yourself crazy. It might hurt just as bad, but you need to stop blaming yourself for guys that aren’t emotionally stable, because trying to have a relationship with someone like that will turn you into somebody that is as cynical about love as he is, and you deserve better than that.