The definitive guide to not catching feelings

Catching feelings is essentially the 2017 version of catching the plague, and it’s just as difficult to avoid, TBH.

Luckily, catching feelings doesn’t end in an untimely death, but it can end in you acting like a fool and getting your heart broken. Which is like, basically an untimely death in emo-terms.

Some people say that the whole anti-catching feels thing has gone too far, and they might have a point. But at the same time, sometimes you’re too busy having fun in your hoe phase, or you want to focus on your career, and don’t want to get derailed for love.

Here’s how to avoid catching feelings, but like with anything, practice makes perfect.

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1. Have a Roster

There’s a reason why guys love to say every girl has a backup dude, because lots of girls do. And honestly, guys can only blame themselves, because girls are sick of putting all their eggs in one basket just to get screwed over by a douche.

It’s not morally questionable to have backups — as long as you’re not lying to a dude and telling him he’s your only boy toy if he’s not. And, it’s the best way to stop yourself from catching feels while still having fun.

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You see, instead of meeting a cool guy and starting to spend most of your free time with him, you meet a couple of decent guys and divide your free time among them equally. That way, if Jeremy isn’t texting you back, you probably won’t notice, because you’ll be busy getting texted by Casey. And if Keith suddenly ghosts, it won’t hurt because you’ll just invite Max over to distract you – if you catch my drift.

Granted, this method kind of goes against the whole “you need to love yourself before you can love someone else” thing, but you’re not trying to love someone else, so it’s fine. The only time you should be wary is if you start feeling lonely whenever you’re alone, because there are bound to be times when none of your hoes are free to entertain you.

2. Never Hang Out During the Day

There’s a reason why most fun people don’t get in relationships in college, because they’re busy going out at night and sleeping all day. Sure, you might accidentally text your booty call “I missss you” when you’re turnt, but he’ll know you’re drunk and think you just miss his dick, so it’s fine.

If you’re always out, you’ll never be able to have the “what are we?” convo, and you’ll never have time to soberly reflect on if Tristan could be good boyfriend material. Also, who has time to catch feelings when you’re catching up on sleep and running errands before sundown?

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Sure, this might not be great life guidance, but it’s a great way to not end up like all your boring 20-something friends who are moving in with their boos and adopting dogs!

3. Have Really High Standards

You call it picky, I call it fool-proof. If you have a ridiculously unrealistic list of qualities you need in a man for him to be considered bae material, you’ll never find a man.

Also, if you hone in on rando qualities — like having a long second toe or wearing band tees — as deal breakers, you’ll stop seeing random losers as potential boyfriends, and simply see them as Mr. Right Now.

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If you go into a “relationship” knowing that it’ll never become serious, you have a way better shot of staying sane instead of doing that thing where you close your eyes and suddenly imagine your future together, complete with a white picket fence and twins named Jessie and Jason.

4. Keep Friends As Friends, Hook Ups as Hook Ups

Everyone always says the best relationships come from friendships, which is a lofty assumption considering everyone is meeting on Tinder these days.

Regardless, they have a point. It’s way easier to fall for someone if you have an emotional connection that turns into a physical connection, or simply an emotional connection in general, since those are so hard to come by these days.

If you’re not trying to catch feels, don’t blur these lines. Or better yet, don’t forge emotional connections with anyone whose D might enter your V.

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Keep guys friends around for bro-ing out over alt bands and Bud Light, keep boy toys around for hooking up and the occasional free dinner/drinks. Don’t drunkenly hook up with your guy friend, because there’s a good chance you’ll start realizing something else is there besides just friendship.

5. Be Real With Yourself

Everyone wants to be the “chill” girl who DGAF and never gets hurt, but some of us just aren’t that girl. Or, we have phases where we can’t be that girl, and it’s fine. But, the only thing worse than a girl who’s eager beaver to get in a relationship is a girl who claims to be a f*ckgirl but is secretly looking for a boyfriend.

You know, like the girl who keeps saying she “hates Tinder” after dealing with a douche, but re-downloads it every couple weeks just “for fun?” Or the girl who claims she only keeps a guy around because the sex is great but it’s obvious she’s trying to make it more?

It’s okay to catch feelings, we all do it. Just be honest with yourself and don’t try to act like nothing’s there when something clearly is, ‘cuz you’ll probs end up even more hurt than you would’ve if you’d just admitted that your casual hook-up was becoming something more.

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