The Dress Code For Marc Jacobs’s Next Party Includes Riding In On A Horse

Okay guys, this is not a drill. If you were lucky enough to receive an invite to the Marc Jacobs-hosted Fashion Week release party for Gloss, a book about ‘70s photo legend Chris Von Wangenheim, get ready to call up all your friends so you can raid their closets because the dress code is seriously strict.

Even though we weren’t lucky enough to get an invite, Yahoo Style was, and apparently the dress code “takes up more space than the actual invite itself”.

Word-for-word, this is what it says:

STRICT DRESS TO KILL CODE WILL BE ENFORCED: FUR COATS OVER LINGERIE, LIP GLOSS, JERRY HALL SIDE-SWEPT HAIR, SEQUINS, GOLD LAMÉ TURBANS, PATTI HEARST SYMBIONESE LIBERATION ARMY GEAR, ROGUE, ROLLERINA CHIC, SHEER HAREM PANTS, MINI SKIRTS AND MUSCULAR LEGS, PLATINUM RECORDS AS HEAD GEAR, SEQUINS, GRACE JONES BUTCH REALNESS, GLOSS-Y SKIN, BLEACHED EYEBROWS, SLITS, RIDING IN ON A WHITE HORSE, SEQUINS, SKY HIGH STILETTOS, MIRRORED AVIATORS, METAL MESH, COWL NECKLINE HALTERS, OR EYES OF LAURA MARS CHIC. NO FLAT SHOES. NO MATTE SURFACES. NO NATURAL LOOKS.

Basically, just try and look as much like Rihanna as you can:

marc_jacobs_rihanna_galore_mag

And before you start grumbling, remember that this party isn’t about you, it’s about Marc Jacobs and Marc Jacobs just can’t risk having you anywhere near his party.  See, there are going to be a lot of photographers there and he just can’t risk an uggo making his/her way into any published photo of his party.  He has a reputation to uphold.  If you don’t look like you just stepped out of 1975, then it’s not happening.

Still, the party is at Tunnel – you know, you know, the real life club where Carrie got knocked up in  Sex and the City, which practically makes it a New York institution, so you should probably at least try to put something together.

Good luck getting in. You’ll definitely need it.

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