The Difference Between A Softboy And A F*ckboy

It’s time we stop classifying the guy that consistently blows us off, but still checks in with us as a…F*ckboy. It’s just not fair! Maybe there’s something else going on, or maybe he’s the alternative–The Softboy.
Medium.com recently noted the difference between the Softboy and the F*ckboy. In fact, my very own Softboy sent me the article and it has opened my eyes to an entirely new playing field.

After a ‘friends with benefits’ situation crashes and burns, we usually venture to the bar overly saturated with drunk dudes and find ourselves another F*ckboy to smash and pass. Softboys, on the other hand, don’t care if you have sex or not because he makes you believe he “just wants to see you.” He won’t call or text for a week after the night you spent making out, but it doesn’t bother us females because we know how hard he works in the office, and he’s probably just closing that crucial deal or whatever he does at his hip bullshit job we know nothing about. Of course he texts you Friday morning, because Friday night is simply below him.

A Softboy always remains calm, cool and collected. He dresses well and his physical features are far from soft. Instead, they’re chiseled. He never ignores you because he unapologetically has his read receipts on. His kind way with words and proper use of grammar is enough to tell mom about him, but you hesitate due to his lack of consistency in your life. It’s known he’d never do anything to intentionally hurt your feelings, but he’s so wrapped up in his emotions that yours are often over looked and smugly taken into consideration…days later. Unlike the F*ckboy, we find comfort in the faltering presence of the Softboy.

He won’t deny the fact that there’s another girl he’s in love with, but he thoroughly explains it as something that “just could never work.” It’s such a surprise he’s not attempting to hide this other woman that it won’t even phase you. You and the other girl probably know about each other. The fact that he’s open about his heart’s distraction doesn’t make you jealous or want him more, instead it sends you into a feeling of indifference. He never lied, he just decided not to share with you the weekend he spent with that one girl to protect your delicate feelings. You see her post photos from their weekend of love and you’re not hurt, but damn! What you wouldn’t give to be on the other side of that camera, snapping over filtered polaroids of this babely Softboy.

(Okay, maybe a little jealous.)

The Softboy straddles the border of F*ckboy ever so gently. He knows you better than most guys do. Primarily because you’ve spent the majority of nights talking instead of “making love”. He knows when to give you the attention you secretly crave, when to make a sarcastic remark, and when to give you words of encouragement. He fills you up with emotional security, and leaves you to pathetically deflate just to fill you up again. It’s a vicious cycle you fall subject to, only in hopes of someday becoming the Softboy’s plus one, though you both joke that will never happen. You stick around for as long as you do because you’re sensitive and he’s sensitive and it just makes sense. The relationship is going nowhere fast. Inevitably it’s going to get better or get old. Or get old before it gets better. Either way, the sixth sense instilled in the Softboy will always send him back to the comfortable shadows of your being.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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