The Best/Worst Holiday Pick-Up Lines (And How To React)
We’re well into cuffing season, and with the holiday’s approaching it’s only getting worse. The thirsty are wallowing away wishing they had a boo getting them a Christmas gift, or someone to Kiss at midnight on NYE. We envision plenty of awkward sexual advances- whether from your creepy co-worker at your office party, or the nerdy guy your Grandma is trying to set you up with at Christmas (isn’t he your third cousin?). Here are our favorite Christmas pick up lines (so bad, they’re good) and how to react.
He Says: “I have the stamina of Santa Claus—I can go all night long”
Your Reaction: Chug your spiked cider as fast as humanely possible and search for the nearest Christmas tree to hide behind.
He Says:“Are you an angel? Because you’d look great on top of my tree”
Your Reaction: Grab the sugar-cookie scented candle from the table and light yourself on fire immediately.
He Says:“Is your name ‘Hannukah’? Because I’d love to do you for eight crazy nights”
Your Reaction: Pretend to choke on your latke and excuse yourself to the farthest restroom.
He Says: “Come sit on my lap. I’ve got a special gift just for you.”
Your Reaction: throw a wreath over his head and in the time he tries to get it off, run far far away.
He Says:“Damn Jewish girl, lemme light that Labia Menorah”
Reaction: Tell him that you had you haven’t even had your Bat Mitzvah yet.
“Do you like the song “Jingle Bells”? Because you look like you go all the way!”
Reaction: Hop into a sleigh and jingle all the way to your house and call it a night.